


Texting is fun!!

by RandomHuman12



Series: My ChatFics [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abusive Parents, F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, I have no clue what I'm doing with this, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Past Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Polyamory, Trans Peter Parker, but it's pretty fun so far
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-03-30 20:30:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19035067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomHuman12/pseuds/RandomHuman12
Summary: Peter Parker get the bright idea to make a Group Chat with all his friends (and boyfriend).Chaos, lot's and lots of it ensues.





	1. What The Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Oh and they all get their powers eventually.
> 
> Just a fun fact.

_**Peter Parker** made the **what the fuck chat**_

_**Peter Parker** added, **Tony Stark** , **Wade Wilson** , **Natasha Romanov** , **Clint Barton** , **Steve Rogers** and 18 others._

**Peter Parker** : It had to happen

 **Tony Stark** : Wtf kid

 **Peter Parker** : You’re a kid

 **Tony Stark** : I’m over 18, thank you

 **Wade Wilson** : Bby boiiiiiiii

 **Peter Parker** : I can kick u

 **Wade Wilson** : You wouldn’t

 **Tony Stark** : Oh god he’s here

 **Wade Wilson** : You love meeeee

 **Tony Stark** : No. I don’t, if anything I want you dead.

 **Wade Wilson** : Pool

 **Natasha Romanov** : Why is he even here?

 **Peter Parker** : I said so.

 **Steve Rogers** : You don’t even like him????

 **Wade Wilson** : Oh yeah, we’re dating

 **Peter Parker** : yeh

 **Tony Stark** : WTF WTF WTF

 **Natasha Romanov** : congrats

 **Clint Barton** : You’re a like 10, he’s 19 wtf

 **Peter Parker** : idk he kissed me and I was like: k

 **Wade Wilson** : he had a fucking panic attack bc I liked him

 **Peter Parker** : stfu

 **Wade Wilson** : never

 **Wade Wilson** : Also, I’m 20

 **Clint Barton** : not better at ALL

 **Ned Leeds** : HOLY SHIT PETER DID YOU ADD ME TO A CHAT WITH THE AVENGERS TfdhbRGB

 **Peter Parker** : Dude, chill

 **Steve Rogers** : We still get called that? Jeez, that school needs to catch up w/ the times.

 **Gwen Stacy** : Sooo Steve u dating Bucky or wot

 **Steve Rogers** : Who the fuck- and why the fuck-

 **Bucky Barnes** : Language

 **Bucky Barnes** : also yes, I am tapping dat fine ass

 **Steve Rodgers** : who gave you a phone

 **Gwen Stacy** : OMFG YASSSSS MY OTP

 **Peter Parker** : That’s Gwen, a friend from my old school

 **Harry Osborn** : Bitch

 **Peter Parker** : him too that fuck nut

 **Tony Stark** : ur dating Wade wtf

 **Harry Osborn** : ur dating wade? Shit that mother fucker

 **Wade Wilson** : Should I be scared

 **Peter Parker** : (Video of Harry shoving a hot dog in his eye)

 **Peter Parker** : yes.

 **Wade Wilson** : omfg I need to run that kid’s so spooky

_**Peter Parker** set their name to **MrSpider**_

**MrSpider** : It was funny

 **Shuri** : Hey humans

_**Shuri** changed their name to **AreYouShuri**_

_**Wade Wilson** changed their name to **WouldFuckTomHolland**_

**MrSpider** : Should I be jealous

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Noooo I wouldn’t do that to uuu

 **AreYouShuri** : You better not

 **Harry Osborn** : we’d fuck u up

 **Tony Stark** : I’m already gonna fuck him up I got ur location

 **MrSpider** : Tony noooooooo

 **Tony Stark** : He’s 20 wtf Pete

 **MrSpider** : I’m 18 in like a week

 **Tony Stark** : Still not OK

 **James Rhodes** : Tony calm ur shit it’s fine

 **Tony Stark** : How could you say that!?

 **James Rhodes** : I’ll call him brb

_**Harry Osborn** changed their name to **GoblinSporn**_

**MrSpider** : NOT OK HARRY

 **GoblinSporn** : he was my dad lol

 **MrSpider** : He killed himself in front of me u know that

 **Gwen Stacy** : WTF HE DID!?

 **Ned Leeds** : He had ptsd for months after he moved here how did you not know that

 **Natasha Romanov** : I’m coming over Peter

 **MrSpider** : You don’t have to Nat

 **Natasha Romanov** : I am plus this class is boring

 **MrSpider** : You’re in class?

 **Natasha Romanov** : not any more I’ll be right there

_**Natasha Romanov** is offline_

**AreYouShuri** : Awww aunty Nat!

 **AreYouShuri** : Peter, r u ok?

 **MrSpider** : I will be Nat’s car just pulled up outside mine

_**MrSpider** is Offline_

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Offline_

**Gwen Stacy** : @ _GoblinSporn_ ur a dick

 **GoblinSporn** : He was my dad why should I be sorry?

 **GoblinSporn** : tbh he should be over it by now

 **Clint Barton** : Not the point kid

 **Clint Barton** : when someone kills themselves in front of u it fucks you up

 **GoblinSporn** : Not changing my name

 **Clint Barton** : Fair

 **Clint Barton** changed their name to EyeOfAHawk

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Also he’s in the shit with Nat

 **GoblinSporn** :??? y???

 **EyeOfAHawk** : He didn’t tell her that happened

 **Michelle** **Jones** : Did he tell anyone?

 **EyeOfAHawk** : wtf who r u?

 **Michelle Jones** : Peter hasn't mentioned me? Once?

 **EyeOfAHawk** : oh

 **EyeOfAHawk** : OH

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Yeah he’s mentioned u

_**MrSpider** is Online_

_**MrSpider** changed **Natasha Romanov** (s) name to **BigSpiderMom**_

_**MrSpider** is Offline_

**Michele Jones** : wtf @ _MrSpider_

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : Yeah?

 **Michelle Jones** : Why are you two spiders?

 **MrSpider** : We like spiders

_**BigSpiderMom** is Online_

**BigSpiderMom** : They’re fucking cute, you have a problem with that?

 **Michelle Jones** : No

 **Michelle Jones** : My cat likes to eat them though

 **MrSpider** : wtf Lion no

 **BigSpiderMom** : why the fuck is ur cat called Lion?

 **Michelle Jones** : I let Peter name her when he was sad

 **BigSpiderMom** : Why Lion?

 **MrSpider** : _IDK_ gfdjsgfbahgbfhd _NOT SETEVENUNIVERSEHOWDAREYOUASSUME_ fjbfg

 **MrSpider** : omfg Wade just showed up byeeeee

_**MrSpider** is Offline_

**AreYouShuri** : Soooo ur Michelle

 **Michelle Jones** : Yeah

 **AreYouShuri** : Peter calls you ‘mean bitch’ btw

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : Shuri whyy

_**Michelle** **Jones** changed their name to **Mean Bitch**_

**Mean Bitch** : I love it

 **AreYouShuri** : …

 **AreYouShuri** : I like you

 **MrSpider** : :-)

 **MrSpider** : Both my female best friends get along

 **Gwen Stacy** : Bitch

 **MrSpider** : You’re old school you don’t count

 **Mean Bitch** : Don’t be a dick

 **AreYouShuri** : You can join our club @ _Gwen Stacy_

 **MrSpider** : What club

 **MrSpider** : guys what club

 **Mean Bitch** : We don’t have a name yet

 **AreYouShuri** : We will and it will be the best thing ever

 **Gwen Stacy** : Yeah! Suck my dick Parker!

 **Ned Leeds** : Why do I feel like ur old friends swear more than us?

 **MrSpider** : Bad area of queens tbh

 **MrSpider** : Oh and @ _GoblinSporn_ guess who’s going to ur company in a week

 **GoblinSporn** : OMFG UR MID-TOWN!??!?!?!?!?!?

 **Ned Leeds** : Wait he’s THE Harry Osborn?

 **GoblinSporn** : Yeah who the fuck are you

 **Ned Leeds** : It says my name…

 **MrSpider** : Don’t be a dick to Ned he’s such a nice boi

 **GoblinSporn** : Prove it

 **MrSpider** : (Picture of Ned next to a Lego box)

 **GoblinSporn** :… that's him?

 **MrSpider** : Bro?

 **GoblinSporn** : He’s so…

 **GoblinSporn** : Soft

 **GoblinSporn** : I want one

 **MrSpider** : He’s mine get ur own

_**Scott Lang** is Online_

_**Scott Lang** changed their name to **EatAnt**_

**EatAnt** : If you want to traffic Ned get in line

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : SCOTT I TOLD U NOT TO TELL ANYONE

 **Ned Leeds** : I DON’T WANT TO BE TRAFFICKED PLEASE NO

 **Tony Stark** : I will protect you

 **Ned Leeds** : You will?

 **Tony Stark** : by trafficking you

 **MrSpider** : He’s mine stoppp

_**MrSpider** changed **Ned Leeds** (s) name to **Parker's**_

**Parker's** : I feel safer

 **EatAnt** : Don’t

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** changed **Parker's** (s) name to **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF**_

**WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : Now I feel safe

 **GoblinSporn** : But I’m Harry fucking Osborn I’ll get you

 **Tony Stark** : I’m Tony fucking Stark and no you will not

 **GoblinSporn** : DON’T STOP ME NOW I’M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME I’M HAVING A BALL

 **MrSpider** : DON’T STOP ME NOW IF YOU WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME JUST GIVE ME A CALL

 **Gwen Stacy** : DON’T STOP ME ‘CUZ I’M HAVING A GOOD TIME, I DON’T WANNA STOP AT ALL

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : YEAH

 **AreYouShuri** : OMFG @ _Mean Bitch_ @ _Gwen Stacy_ WE’RE THE QUEENS

_**T’Challa** is Online_

**T’Challa** : But you’re not. You will never be.

 **AreYouShuri** : DON’T STOP ME NOW I KNO _w how to kill you._

 **T’Challa** : I fund your lab.

 **AreYouShuri** : ACTUALLY mother does THOT.

_**AreYouShuri** changed **T’Challa** (s) name to **ThisBitchFreezes**_

**MrSpider** : I made it so you can’t change your name back @ _ThisBitchFreezes_

 **Mean Bitch** : Welcome to the bitch club.

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : Thank you, I feel very welcome.

_**BigSpiderMom** changed their name to **BitchSpiderMom**_

**BitchSpiderMom** : Can I join?

 **Mean bitch** : Yes.

 **BitchSpiderMom** : :)

 **EatAnt** : Wait, why does a kid Peters age run a company?

 **GoblinSporn** : I do and I don’t it’s weird, I help out sometimes and plan events and stuff but the actual stuff goes towards actual adults.

 **MrSpider** : He still won’t show me his office

 **MrSpider** : Wade says you’re a dick

 **GoblinSporn** : I eat the green part of the watermelon fear me

 **GoblinSporn** : UGHUHGFUHG I have to go to a meeting ttyl

_**GoblinSporn** is Offline_

**Loki Odinson** : So much has happened and I’ve just been reading this hole thing

 **Loki Odinson** : Tea is scolding

_**Thor Odinson** is Online_

**Thor Odinson** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TEA LOKI TELL ME

 **Loki Odinson** : No.

 **Tony Stark** : Google it

_**Tony Stark** changed their name to **Can’tBudgeIron**_

**Steve Rodgers** : Howard being a dick?

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : You don’t know the halve of it

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : He gave me three days to design something new or I’ll be in a fucking cage again

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : That’s tough

 **MrSpider** : Call the police

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : They won’t do shit he’s Howard fucking Stark

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : Plus they’ll think it’d just ptsd from Afghanistan

 **EatAnt** : Big F in the chat

 **MrSpider** : F

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : F

 **Loki Odinson** : FFFFFF

 **Thor Odinson** : F

 **AreYouShuri** : F

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : F

 **Gwen Stacy** : F

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : Ok that’s enough fs I need to work

 **Steve Rogers** : F

 **Bucky Barnes** : F

_**Can’tBudgeIron** is now Offline_

**Bucky Barnes** : Rude

_**Bucky Barnes** changed their name to **OneArmTwo-OhWait**_

**EyeOfAHawk** : Nice

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Thank you, I thought _long_ and _hard_ over it.

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Not-so-nice

_**Steve Rogers** changed their name to **IthoughtuWereAmerican**_

**MrSpider** : We’re vine bros

 **IthoughtuWereAmerican** : Duh

 **AreYouShuri** : Bro…

 **MrSpider** : We’re science bros stfu

 **AreYouShuri** : Omg u admit it

 **MrSpider** : Yah of course

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : (Picture of Shuri crying over her phone)

 **MrSpider** : awe Shuri ily

 **AreYouShuri** : ily 2 spooder boi

 **BitchSpiderMom** : (Picture of Peter crying over his phone)

 **AreYouShuri** : We’re so connected it’s crazy

 **MrSpider** : I know ur my soulmate I swear

 **MrSpider** : Wade wants me to clarify: PLATONIC soulmate

 **AreYouShuri** : I know bro, I know

 **BitchSpiderMom** : (Video of Peter holding Wade back from jumping out of peters bedroom window, yelling: “I’LL KILL THAT BITCH!”)

 **AreYouShuri** : TRY ME BITCH

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : Ah shit, here we go again.

 **Mean Bitch** : I can’t tell if your using the meme or you actually mean it.

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : Both.

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : BITCH I’LL KILL U

 **AreYouShuri** : NO YOU WONT THOT

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : Why do you keep using ‘thot’ why can’t you just say slut?

 **AreYouShuri** : shut up THOT

 **MrSpider** : THOT

 **AreYouShuri** : Good spider. Have a cookie.

 **MrSpider** : :-)

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Have 17 cookies

 **MrSpider** : (Picture of exactly seven teen cookies) Yos

 **AreYouShuri** : Have a whole plane full

 **BitchSpiderMom** : (Video of a plane stopping on the roof of Peters apartment complex) wtf Shuri

 **AreYouShuri** : Open it

 **MrSpider** : OMFG IT’S FULL OF COOKIES

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : We’re soooo sharing them

 **Mean Bitch** : Movie night?

 **MrSpider** : YASSS Michelle Didn’t know you likes us enough to have a movie night???

 **Mean Bitch** : Accept it before I change my mind.

 **MrSpider** : Mkay :-)

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : How about Sunday?

 **Mean Bitch** : I’m free.

 **MrSpider** : YAS This is like… the best this ever

_**Loki Odinson** changed their name to **Non-BinarySnek**_

**BitchSpiderMom** : You’re non-binary? Cool

 **MrSpider** : Loki omg I'm soo happy u came out fhdkjsagblq

 **IthoughtuWereAmerican** : Well ok then.

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Congrats on coming out my bitch

 **Non-BinarySnek** : Fuck u

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : That's Peter’s job

 **Non-BinarySnek** : ew

 **MrSpider** : WADE STFU I WILL END U

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : There is no end in fuck-buddies

 **MrSpider** : SHAP

 **Mean Bitch** : There is in boyfriend.

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I don’t like u

 **Mean Bitch** : Oh no, how will I live on.

 **Mean Bitch** : Oh wait, easily Idc about your bull shit Wilson.

 **AreYouShuri** : OH SHIT MY GIRL ENTERS THE BATTLE

 **Mean Bitch** : Yeah, duh. I like you, I’m so on your side.

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : OMG THAT’S THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN HER SAY SHE LIKES SOMEONE

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : THERE IS SOMETHING THERE GHFJXCHJKCFJDSHTRBVJKLK

 **AreYouShuri** : I’m gay but we only just met

 **Mean Bitch** : Same.

 **MrSpider** : Ur pans???

 **Mean Bitch** : Shut up Parker.

 **MrSpider** : Le cri

 **AreYouShuri** : Peter eat ur cookies I’m talk to mama Michelle about her abusing my son

 **MrSpider** : Mkay

 **Mean Bitch** : ok wtf

 **AreYouShuri** : I should be saying that to you. You just abused our spider son.

 **Mean Bitch** : Ok but sinse when did you not do the same? Cookies aren’t good for him.

 **AreYouShuri** : He desiervs them, he’s been a good boy!

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : If Peter’s your son what about me?

 **Mean Bitch** : You’re his pet.

 **AreYouShuri** : At least we agree on something.

 **MrSpider** : Ned’s not my pet! He’s my best friend.

 **AreYouShuri** : In this family he’s ur pet

 **MrSpider** : Ok fair

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : I disagree wth this notion.

 **MrSpider** : Three against one bro

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : Oh

 **AreYouShuri** : Michelle we need to call to really sort this out

 **Mean Bitch:** Fine.

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : Ok but Shuri being gay is a mood

 **MrSpider** : how right you are my pet

 **MrSpider** : WADE DON’T SAY IT!

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Sorry but….

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : kinky

 **MrSpider** : BVADSBKSFSBJB

 

\--Call Transcripts: Michelle Jones and Shuri.--

 **Michelle:** “Hey,”

 **Shuri** : “… Hi,”

 **Michelle** : “So… uh, you’re Shuri,”

 **Shuri** : “Yeah, you are Michelle, right?”

 **Michelle** : “Duh,”

 **Shuri** : “Sorry it’s hard to tell apart child abusers,”

 **Michelle, laughing** : “You gave him a plane full of cookies, I must say you’re wrong,”

 **Shuri** : “No you,”

 **Michelle** : “You do realise he’ll eat them within a week,”

 **Shuri** : “Yeah, I think I should ship him cookies more often,”

 **Michelle** : "He’ll get fat!”

 **Shuri** : “We should love him, no matter what!”

 **Michelle laughed, Michelle** : “I like you Shuri. Call me M.J.”

 **Shuri** : “But isn’t your name Michelle?”

 **Michelle** : “Yeah, Michelle Jones. My friends call me M.J.,”

 **Shuri, tearing up** : “Wait, our son isn’t your friend?”

 **Michelle** : “Nah, he needs to earn it,”.


	2. wADE NO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, they find out about flash...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmhmhmhmhmm sorry this took so long and it's short but hey, life's shit so don't ask.

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson**   
**Wanda Maximoff**   
**Pietro Maximoff**   
**Stephen Strange**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson**

[00:46]

_**Gwen Stacy** is online_

_**Gwen Stay** changed their name to **BlondeBitch**_

**BlondeBitch** : @ _Mean Bitch_ can I join the bitch club?

_**Mean Bitch** is online_

**Mean Bitch** : Yes.

 **Mean Bitch** : but go to sleep.

 **BlondeBitch** : k

_**Mean Bitch** is offline_

_**BlondeBitch** is offline_

 

[6:30]

_**Wanda Maximoff** is online_

**Wanda Maximoff** : Does anyone need a ride to school today? I’d be happy to drive you :).

_**BitchSpiderMom** is online_

**BitchSpiderMom** : Yeah that’d be great

_**EyeOfAHawk** is online_

**EyeOfAHawk** : same

 **BitchSpiderMom** : You just wanna fuck her brother

 **EyeOfAHawk** : As if you don’t wanna fuck her

_**Wanda Maximoff** changed their name to **MaximumBeuty**_

**MaximumBeuty** : Ok I’ll tell Pietro we’re driving you two :).

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Thanks Wanda

 **MaximumBeuty** : No problem

_**MaximumBeuty** is Offline_

_**Pietro Maximoff** is Online_

_**Pietro Maximoff** changed their name to **MaximoffBeuty**_

**EyeOfAHawk** : If that isn’t the truth

 **MaximoffBeuty** : Thank you, yes, I know it’s true.

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : I have to say that my aunts cooking is terrible

 **MrSpider** : I mean it would be better if I didn’t just wake up to the fire alarm

 **EyeOfAHawk** : You ok?

 **MrSpider** : Yeah I’m used to it by now

 **MrSpider** : But ouch it’s loud

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : I’ma pick you up for school dis morning bby boi

 **MrSpider** : Mkay

 **MrSpider** : May say’s if you break the window again you’re paying for it

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Fair but no

 **MaximoffBeuty** : Bro be a bro

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : But I’m poor

 **MrSpider** : So’s may and me so stfu

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : o shit u rite

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Offline_

**MrSpider** : brb

 **MaximoffBeuty** : I wonder why he left

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Probably to open all his windows

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : BBY BOI CLOSE DAT WINDOW RN

 **MrSpider** : How about no

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Fine.

 **MrSpider** : Wade?

 **MrSpider** : oh shit ur paying my neighbour

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Nope

 **MrSpider** : Ur a dick

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : lol

 **MaximoffBeuty** : Is he normally like this?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : no

 **MrSpider** : Ye

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : DON’T OUT ME BOOIIII

 **MrSpider** : suck my dick

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Wade don’t say it you don’t want Peter to hate you

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Mmmmmmmmmmmmkay

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : BBY BOI THESE PEOPLE HAVE GUNS SAVE ME

 **MrSpider** : no?

 **EyeOfAHawk** : cold

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : O SHIT I GOT SHOT

 **MrSpider** : Come here thot

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : FINE

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Offline_

_**MrSpider** is Offline_

**MaximoffBeuty** : Is Wade gonna be okay???

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Yeha, Peters good at patching the idiot up

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : (Video of Wade screeching as Peter pours vodka onto his wound, May in the background yelling: “You shouldn’t of gone into their home!”.)

 **MrSpider** : lol lets get lit

 **MrSpider** : (Picture of Peter drinking the Vodka and Wade grabbing for it.)

_**AreYouShuri** is Online_

**AreYouShuri** : You started the party without me?

 **MrSpider** : lol yeh what time is it there

 **AreYouShuri** : Bitch I’m in queens

 **MrSpider** : FHDISAGBFAHGFBKSHDFJG WOT

 **AreYouShuri** : Yeah I got here three hours ago

 **MrSpider** : BITCH MEET ME AFTER SCHOOOLLLL

 **AreYouShuri** : uhhhhh duh?? I’m going to ur school anyway

 **MrSpider** : shit @ _Mean Bitch_ be gay today

_**Mean Bitch** is Online_

**Mean Bitch** : I am every day what are you trying to say, Parker?

 **MrSpider** : Flash???

 **MrSpider** : OH SHIT WRONG CHAT

 **EyeOfAHawk** : Whos flash?

 **Mean Bitch** : The type of transphobic, homophobic piece of shit bully who I want to stab.

_**BitchSpiderMom** is Online_

**BitchSpiderMom** : Bully?

 **MrSpider** : Oh SHIT Michelle Y???

_**WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** is Online_

**WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : Yeah he bullys Peter and me sometimes

 **AreYouShuri** : OH BOY I’M GOING TO RUIN THIS SHIT-HEADS CAREER

 **MrSpider** : Shuri nooo

 **AreYouShuri** : Peter wtf let mama Shuri ruin an American boys career

 **MrSpider** : If anything u’d make it worse

 **AreYouShuri** : I’ll kill him if he touches you

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : *again

 **Mean Bitch** : *Again.

 **AreYouShuri** : M.J. CALL ME NOW

 **Mean Bitch** : k

_**EyeOfAHawk** is Offline_

_**MaximoffBeuty** is Offline_

**BitchSpiderMom** : Ned. Message me everything about you know this ‘Flash’ kid.

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : Ok.

 **MrSpider** : NED NO

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : she’ll kill me, you won’t.

 **MrSpider** : I won’t build lego with you for three whole months

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : OH SHIT hmhmhmhmhmhmhm

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Is this really a question?

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : But… lego

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Ned. Tell. Me.

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : Ok ma’am.

 **MrSpider** : Well shit I fucked up.

 

**-Bitch Club-**

**Michelle Jones**   
**Natasha Romanov**   
**T’Challa**   
**Gwen Stacy**

[7:03]

 

_**Natasha Romanov** added **Ned Leeds**_

_**Michelle Jones** added **Shuri**_

**Natasha Romanov** : Say it here Ned.

 **Ned Leeds** : ok, so, Flash is this jack ass who bullied me and Peter, mostly Peter.

 **Michelle Jones** : His real name in Eugene Thompson.

 **Ned Leeds** : That too.

 **Michelle Jones** : He hosts party's sometimes, I can see when the next one is so we can fuck him up.

 **Shuri** : Yes, I want to literally ruin his career.

_**Gwen Stacy** in Online_

**Gwen Stacy** : oh shit ur talking about Flash?

 **Gwen Stacy** : He keeps calling Peter ‘Patricia’ and shit.

_**T’Challa** is Online_

**T’Challa** : I think we are all in agreement.

 **Shuri** : LET’S FUCK HIM UP.

 **T’Challa** : Yes, but in nicer terms.

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson**   
**Wanda Maximoff (Maximi**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson**

[15:40]

 **MrSpider** : What did you guy do?

_**AreYouShuri** is Online_

**AreYouShuri** : I have no clue what you’re talking about.

 **MrSpider** : You’re right next to me. What did you do?

 **AreYouShuri** : MMMmMmMm nOtHinG

 **MrSpider** : THEN WHY THE FUCK DID FLASH JUST WALK UP TO US AND ASK HOW MUCH MONEY I PAID, AND I QUOTE, “THE WAKANDAN ROYALTY, HOT RED-HED, MICHELLE, AND THE CUTE BLOND”

 **MrSpider** : ALSO GWEN I CAN SEE YOU WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!?

 **BlondeBitch** : lmao no I’m not ur crazy

 **MrSpider** : GWEN

 **BlondeBitch** : NOPE

 **MrSpider** : THE GIG IS UP THOTS

_**Mean Bitch** is Online_

_**BitchSpiderMom** is Online_

_**ThisBitchFreezes** is Online_

**Mean Bitch** : We may or may not have threataned to beat the shit out of him.

 **BitchSpiderMom** : all of us.

 **MrSpider** : thEN WHY DID SHURI JUST SAY SHE RUINED HIS CARRER

 **MrSpider** : WHAT ELSE DID U GUYS DO TO HIM

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : her and Stark spoke, I han’t a clue what they did.

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : lol we can’t say

 **AreYouShuri** : The plan isn’t in motion

MrSpider: WHAT PLAN

 **MrSpider** : GUYS

 **MrSpider** : WTF IS WRONG WITH U

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : SHURI DD U TELL HIM!?

 **AreYouShuri** : NO IDK WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT

 **MrSpider** : WADE NO STOP

 **AreYouShuri** : oh wait nm

 **AreYouShuri** : (picture of wade in a tree, pointing a sniper at Flash)

 **AreYouShuri** : lol I’m not stopping him

 **MrSpider** : @ _WouldFuckTomHolland_

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : oh, yes my precois boyfriend of which I love very much?

 **MrSpider** : DON’T SHOOT FLASH

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I have no clue what you’re talking about

 **MrSpider** : YES U DO I KNOW HE’S A DICK BUT HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO DIE WADE STOP

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : He hurt you.

 **MrSpider** : AND?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : bby boy…

 **MrSpider** : Put the fucking gun down NOW

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Fine, but we’re talking about this later

 **MrSpider** : fine

 **MrSpider** : but where the fuck did u get a gun?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : not saying

MrSpider: I’l break up with u

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : OK NO FINE, I FOT T FROM MY METAL FREIND NJNGSAFNFG

 **MrSpider** : Metal… friend?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : you wouldn’t know him

 **BitchSpiderMom** : How in the fuck did u get him to give him a gun, he’s all peace and shit

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I lied duh

 **BitchSpiderMom** : he’s not gonna be happy

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I havn’t done anything with it ‘cuz Peter said no shoot shoot

 **BitchSpiderMom** : yeh but u lied

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : yeah… oh shit I shot some one lol

 **BitchSpiderMom** : what!?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Meh, it’s fine they looked weird u know?

 **MrSpider** : WHY IN THE FUCK DID U SHOOT HER

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : She’s fine, look, sh’es up and walking!

 **MrSpider** ; THAT’SBC SH’ES A MUTANT WHY WOULD YOU SHOOT HER NFRHDAIGB

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Idk

 **MrSpider** : SHE’S WAKING OVER TO ME WOT DO I DONFNGAFN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol wot she gonna do?


	3. bruh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty bad and short I just don't really have motivation for this rn but I wrote some of it fhsalb gnas

The girl- Peter for the life of him couldn’t remember her name, walked up to them. “Arachnid,” she sighed, plastering a fake smile across her face. “You know, this, Wade Wilson, right?” Peter eagerly nodded, wanting her away from him. She was strong, you could even see some of her mulces showing from behind her shirt. “From my under-standing, you’re dating him, correct?”  
“Y-yeah,” the girl nodded.  
“Do I have permission to, let’s say, beat the living shit out of him?”  
“Yeah,” Shuri said from beside him, sipping from her tea.  
“Shuri, shut up and-”  
“Sorry, Parker, Wakandan royalty said yes,” She cracked her knuckles before turning around. “Hey, Wilson! Ready to get fucked up?”  
“If that involves your boobs, I’m fine with it!” Wade yelled back. Shuri tried, and failed to bite back a laugh. “Oh, you’re royally screwed now!”  
“Thanks princess, I’ll hold that one up to you!” He yelled in response. Wade than, seemingly purposely, fell from the tree he was stationed in, running from the teenager who was now running at him faster than Peter had ever witnessed. “Oh my god,” Shuri laughed, as Stacy came up to them. “That was hilarious,”  
“Shuri, did my boyfriend… just… hit on you?”  
“Oh, shit, did he?” Shuri's eyes widened. She began taping at her phone, and then a drone was seen following wade. “Don’t kill him,”  
“I wouldn’t think of it Pete-y,” she gave him a bright smile before taping another button, causing a small bolt of energy came out of the drone. Wade yelped. “Princess, I swear to god!”  
“I’m the only god, Wilson! Fear me!” Shuri yelled back.  
“I only fear Peter, but ok!”  
“Awe, my heart,” Gwen said, sitting next to her friends. “Wait, Shuri, are we...”  
“What, friends?”  
“Oh shit, we are, huh?”  
“I told you you’d get new friends,” Peter sighed, taking a video of Wade running, sending it to their group chat. “I love my boyfriend to fucking much.”  
“Oh, god, he’s mad,”  
“Shuri, quick, hug mode initiate,” they wrapped their arms around the boy.  
“Guys...”  
“See? he’s mad at us now,” Gwen explained, dragging out her words.  
“Ah, I understand your method,”  
“It’s never failed to work,”  
“I can’t breath,” they hugged him tighter for a second, and then let go. “Ow,” Peter rubbed his sides, before staring off at Wade. “Oh god- you do realise I have to patch him up, right?”  
“Meh, let him do it,” Shuri sighed.  
“I love him to much for that,” there was another yelp from wade as a bolt of energy shot at him calve. “I thought he could just… you know,” Gwen gestured, whispering the word ‘regenerate’.  
“Oh, he can,” Peter sighed, “I just worry to much to let him,”  
“Fair,” she replied. Peter, in that moment, really wanted to kill Wade.

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson**   
**Wanda Maximoff (Maximin Beuty)  
** **Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson**

_**Hela Odinson** is Online_

**Hela Odinson** : wait why the fuck am I here???? who added me?

_**GoblinSporn** is Online_

**GoblinSporn** : idk Peter added u

 **Hela Odinson** : Peter…. Who?

 **GoblinSporn** : Parker

 **Hela Odinson** : oh that short spider dude

 **Hela Odinson** : ok

 **MrSpider** : ‘short spider dude’ I am blessed

 **Hela Odinson** : as u should be

_**MrSpider** changed Hela Odinson’s name to **TallHornLady**_

**MrSpider** : UwU

 **TalllHornLady** : I’m also blessed @ _Non-BinarySnek_ I now see why u like this small child

 **MrSpider** : Thank you but I’m not really a child

 **Non-BinarySnek** : Yes you are

 **GoblinSporn** : yes u r

 **MrSpider** : how dare u

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : ur a smoll child no matter how old u r Petey

 **MrSpider** : doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : tru

 **MrSpider** : wait how r u texting rn?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I don’t have a clue tbh

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Can you STOP SHOOTING ME PRINCESS

 **AreYouShuri** : You flirted with me so no

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : fair but it really hurtndjfaks f

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : FUCK YFWEOAUH

 **MrSpider** : huh shooting Wade is fun

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : bby boi nooewbghlask

 **MrSpider** : u tried to shoot some one so I’ma shoot u bak

 **MrSpider** : Pay back bitches

 **Can** ’ **tBudgeIron** : @ _GoblinSporn_ what the fuck did u do to this child?

 **GoblinSporn** : Don’t blame me u dick

 **BlondeBitch** : Well, Harry it’s pretty hard not to when u swore at him

 **GoblinSporn** : suck my dick Stacy

 **BlondeBitch** : I mean if u wanna-

 **GoblinSporn** : hah no I’m to gay for that

 **BlondeBitch** : CoUlD Be gAyER

 **GoblinSporn** : Don’t spin my Thomas Sanders obsession on me like that

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : nah but like tf happened to peter?

 **MrSpider** : oh idk could be the years of mental trama

 **MrSpider** : like, being an orphan

 **MrSpider** : and having a bf who can’t fucking die so like-

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : oh so it’s Wilsons fault???

 **MrSpider** : Tony NO

 **Can** ’ **tBudgeIron** : Tony yes

 **AreYouShuri** : I’ve gott chu covered

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : IS THAT A SECOND DRONE PRINCESBNRHWLGJKB

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : Ok but like,,, this

 **MrSpider** : brUH NO NOT THE SUIT

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I can’t say I deserve this

 **Can** ’ **tBudgeIron** : I can

 **AreYouShuri** : I can

 **GoblinSporn** : I can


	4. h u h

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter meets a boy from Tennessee and adds him to the chat.
> 
> Oh and sams GAYYYYYY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!!! I HOPE THIS IS A GOOD CHAPTER NONETHELESS!!

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson**   
**Wanda Maximoff (Maximi**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**

**Sam Wilson** : What the fuck happened yesterday?

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Nooooothing

 **Sam Wilson** : right

 **Sam Wilson** : Just how nothing happened when Steve called to because he was panicing about how Peter almost killed Tony but you know

 **Same Wilson** : That MUST be nothing

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Meh old news d’ya need a ride to school??

 **Same Wilson** : Fuck you

_**IthoughtuWereAmerican** is Online_

**IthoughtuWereAmerican** : SAM DONT’ BE RUDE

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Yeah fuck face what the fuck

_**Sam Wilson** changed their name to **OnYourLeft**_

**OnYourLeft** : shut up steve u jus wanna fuck him

 **IthoughtuWereAmerican** : gryeiouraehgklwj;kqLQFBKJLB SHUT

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : It’s five. A. M.

 **MrSpider** : I already have blood on my hands if you think I won’t add to it ur wrong

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Oh wow very scary

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : It is if you could see id face rn-

 **MrSpider** : WADE WFT WHERE ARE YOU

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Out side ur window where do u think???

 **MrSpider** : It’s freezing out there hol on-

_**ThisBitchFreezes** is Online_

**ThisBitchFreezes** : Peter, Shuri want you to know that we will be in newyork for another week.

 **OnYourLeft** : oH HI T’CHALLA

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : bfhsdakjlfbnol Bitch

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : Oh, Sam, I didn’t know you were in this chat. It’s nice to know you’re…. Alive.

_**AreYouShuri** is Online_

**AreYouShuri** : wtf why are you blushing so hard

 **AreYouShuri** : Oh skskskskskksks

 **AreYouShuri** : hEY SAM MY BROGRDKJBSHLNJKMFRGJKLDBSFN

 **MrSpider** : I leave for one second and Shuris a vsco girl

_**GoblinSporn** is Online_

**GoblinSporn** : PETER UR COMING TO OSCORP TODAY AAAAAAAA

 **MrSpider** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **AreYouShuri** : I would go but I hate u and ur stupid company B)

_**Can’tBudgeIron** is Online_

**Can’tBudgeIron** : Yeah, you should come to mine lmao

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Isn’t technicly ur dads

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : yoU LITTLE SHIT

 **IthoughtuWereAmerican** : Tony NO

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : @ _OneArmTwo-OhWait_ Ur on thin fucking ice.

_**BitchSpiderMom** is Online_

**BitchSpiderMom** : huh

 **MrSpider** : H u h

 **MrSpider** : Oh Mr.Stark who’s Harley??

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : OH FUCK

 **MrSpider** : He said to add him to the chat sksksksk

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : DON’T

_**MrSpider** added **Harley Keener**_

**Harley Keener** changed their name to **TheMechanic**

 **TheMechanic** : thank you Peter!!!

 **TheMechanic** : HEY OLD MAN WTF WHY HAVEN'T U MESSAGED ME

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : IT’S BEEN A HOUR

 **TheMechanic** : YOU THINK I CARE??? ABBY WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU CAN TEACH HER TO MAKE HER OWN POTATO GUN

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : WHY CAN’T YOU DO IT

 **TheMechanic** : WORK WTF DO YOU THINK

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : I CAN’T EXACTLY FLY OUT TO TENNESSEE RIGHT NOW

 **TheMechanic** : YEAH BUT SHE’S AS IMPATIENT AS ME SO AT LEAST SAY YOU’LL DO IT

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : FUCKING FINE THEN

 **TheMechanic** : Thank you

 **TheMechanic** : Any way hi who-ever the fuck you people are I’m Harley Keener

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : w a I t

 **TheMechanic** : What?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Why were you messaging Peter??

 **TheMechanic** : Because I couldn’t hack him??? how else would I get ot talk to the old man??

 **OneArmTwo-OhWait** : ‘Old Man’ You mean Tony??

 **TheMechanic** : Yeah duh who else??

 **IthoughtuWereAmerican** : He’s not old

 **TheMechanic** : Yeah he is u all r

 **TheMechanic** : Judging by ur facebooks anyway

 **TheMechanic** : Also Romanoff is very hard to track down but ur looking great for ur age btw

 **AreYouShuri** : This wen’t from my brother being gay to…. Who-ever this fuck is

 **TheMechanic** : Harley Keener, at your service princess.

 **AreYouShuri** : . . .

 **AreYouShuri** : I dont’ like you

 **GoblinSporn** : I fucking do

 **TheMechanic** : Harry Osborn?? How many hoes does the softest boi tm know??

 **GoblinSporn** : Owch

 **TheMechanic** : I wasn’t just talking about you but ok.

_**Non-BinarySnek** is Online_

**Non-BinarySnek** : We have school wtf are you all doing on your phones

 **TheMechanic** : Ha you have enough time for school B)

 **MrSpider** : HARLEY

 **TheMechanic** : Yeah??

 **AreYouShuri** : Holy fuck you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into

 **MrSpider** : ARE YOU OK???? IF YOU WANT YOU CAN COME AND LIVE MY ME AND MY AUNT SO THEN YOU CAN GET A PROPER EDUCATION!!!!!

 **TheMechanic** : uyikdjfn wHAT PETER I’M FINE I ALREADY KNOW THE SHIT SCHOOL TEACHES YOU ANYWAY

 **MrSpider** : ARE YOU SURE?????? IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST TELL ME!!!!!!!

 **TheMechanic** : YES I’M SURE HOLY FUCK YOU’RE SOFT

_**EatAnt** is Online_

**EatAnt** : If you wanna traffic him message me

_**EatAnt** is Offline_

**TheMechanic** : I-


	5. gay panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle sees Gwen's face for the first time, and Peter sees Harleys.
> 
> Will there be an epic threesome between Michelle, Gwen adn Shuri?? Will i- Wade be heard broken?? Find out soon
> 
> we hope.

_**Peter Parker** made the **GIRLS HELP ME** chat_

_**Peter Parker** Added **Michelle Jones** , **Shuri** and **Gwen Stacy**._

**Michelle Jones** : Peter?? Are you ok??

 **Peter Parker** : FUCK

 **Shuri** : Petey??

 **Peter Parker** : OK SO???? YOU KNOW???? THAT GUY?????// I ADDED TO THE CHAT???

_**Gwen Stacy** is Online_

**Gwen Stacy** : Hol up lemme catch myself up

 **Shuri** : yeah?

 **Peter Parker** : He’s??? flirting??? with??? me????

 **Michelle Jones** : And? Just tell him you’ve got Wade

 **Peter Parker** : BuT!!!!

 **Gwen Stacy** : you LIKE him don’t you

 **Peter Parker** : No!!! I just think he’s slightly maybe cute-

 **Shuri** : You already sent pics?? holy fuck parker.

 **Peter Parker** : Yeah!!!! and uh!!! Jus loOK!!!

_**Peter Parker** sent a photo_

**Gwen Stacy** : Oh ur screwed

 **Peter Parker** : HE’S ASKING TO CALL!!! WHAT DO I DO???

 **Michelle Jones** : Tell him he’ll have to wait ‘till lunch the teachers looking at you

 **Peter Parker** : grusdhfkjhbfigdkjfbiuUKRBfvhbdhvBGVdhfb

_**Peter Parker** is Offline_

**Shuri** : I thought you were going to shitheads company?

 **Michelle Jones** : We are, we just weren’t supposed to bring out phones.

 **Shuri** : o h

 **Michelle Jones** : Yeah, the Teacher thinks I’m sketching lmao

 **Gwen Stacy** : ugh stop boing gay on main

 **Shuri** : She’s not??

 **Gwen Stacy** : I was talking to myself in advance bc me and Michelle havn’t seen eachothers faces and I wanna see a pic

 **Shuri** : I’ll give you that

 **Shuri** : that was smooth as hell.

_**Michelle Jones** sent a picture_

**Gwen Stacy** : OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK YOU MADE ME GAY ON MAIN

 **Michelle Jones** : haha

_**Peter Parker** is Online_

**Peter Parker** : what’s this about being gay on main??

 **Shuri** : Gwen hadn’t seen M.J.s face

 **Peter Parker** : Hey why can’t I call u M.J.??

 **Gwen Stacy** : shut up I’m about to send a piccc

_**Gwen Stacy** sent a picture_

**Michelle Jones** : . . .

 

_**Michelle Jones** to **Peter Parker**_

**Michelle Jones** : WHY ARE YOUR FRIENDS SO HOT????????

 **Peter Parker** : Ohk wasn’t expecting that.

 **Michelle Jones** : Pareker what trhe fuck

 **Michelle Jones** : Like ngngffdfbndaoRLBN

 **Peter Parker** : Do we have a chat with us and ned yet??

 **Michelle Jones** : DON’T YOU DARE

 

_**Peter Parker** made the **Being Gay On Main** chat_

_**Peter Parker** added **Michelle Jones** and **Ned Leeds**_

_**Peter Parker** changed their name to **Ned**_

_**Peter Parker** changed **Michelle Jones** (s) name to **Peter**_

_**Peter Parker** changed **Ned Leeds** (s) name to **MJ**_

**MJ** : Peter!!! Why are you on your phone???

 **Ned** : Bc…. Mj’s being gay and idk what to do so-

 **Peter** : PETER I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Mj** : What happened Mj??

 **Peter** : first, I never said you could call me that

 **Ned** : :(

 **Ned** : :’(

 **Peter** : Ok fine you’ve earned it

 **Ned** : :)

Peter: But really?? did you have to bring Ned into this??

 **Ned** : Yes

 **Peter** : FINE

_**Peter** sent a picture_

**Mj** : ALL YOU DID WAS PUT A ‘. . .’????

 **Peter** : GBHISKDJLBN I GUESS IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO

 **Mj** : MJ!!!

 **Peter** : SHE’S HOT!!! AND SO IS SHURI!!!! AND I’M HAVING A GAY PANIC ATTACK!!!! AND SO IS PETER SO DON’T JUS TDO THAT TO ME!!!!!!

 **Mj** : WHAT HAPPENED????

 **Ned** : GVRKJSAFDL;NJ;KA MJ!!!!!!

 **Mj** : PETER?????

 **Ned** : ok so you know that guy I added to the chat??????

 **Mj** : yea he internet stalked everyone

 **Ned** : he was bored

 **Ned** : but,,,, I think he’s cute-

 **Mj** : PETER YOU HAVE WADE THO

 **Ned** : I KNOW AND I LOVE HIM AND HE’S HOT AND CUTE TOO BUT SO IS HARLS!!!!!

 **Mj** : You’ve only known him for a day????

 **Ned** : well actually we met on Tumblr a year and a half ago-

 **Mj** : WHAT??? YOU’VE ONLY JUST SEEN HIS FACE???

 **Ned** : OK SHUT UP ALSO WHAT ABOUT MJ??? SHE’S THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON!!

 **Peter** : PARKER I FUCKING SWEAR

 

**-Chat-**   
**GIRLS HELP ME**

**Members**

**Gwen Stacy**   
**Shuri**   
**Michelle Jones**   
**Peter Parker**

**Gwen Stacy** : I??? What???

 **Shuri** : I think they’ve ghosted us

 **Peter Parker** : Oh!!! It’s okay!!! I just realised me Ned and Mj didn’t have a chat yet and got distracted!!!

 **Gwen Stacy** : h u h

 **Shuri** : Why did you make the chat, Peter?

 **Peter Parker** : No reason skskskskskks

 **Shuri** : Anna oop-

 **Shuri** : you got me there Peter

 **Michelle Jones** : Ok I’m back sorry

 **Michelle Jones** : After talking to ned for one second I’ve learnt that Peter knew, and I quote, “Harls” for a year and a half

 **Gwen** **Stacy** : AND YOU’VE ONLY JUST SEEN HIS FACE???

 **Peter Parker** : One, exactly what Ned said. Two, NO I JUST NEVER ASKED

 **Peter Parker** : ALSO I’M CALLING HIM AT LUNCH AND I’VE NEVER HEARD HIS VOISE-

 **Peter Parker** : WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO???? I NEVER TOLD HIM I’M TRANS!!!! WHAT IF I SOUND TO HIGH PITCHED!!!!!!!

 **Michelle Jones** : … you… haven't… told him?

 **Peter Parker** : DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

 **Shuri** : I’d probably glare at you too if I were her

 **Peter Parker** : I didn’t think about that!!!!! Stop bullying me!!!!!!

 **Gwen Stacy** : Yeah, but do you think he’d care? It’s not like he’s transphobic, right?

 **Peter Parker** : Should I jus message him and tell him???

 **Peter Parker** : Also Mj u should start actually moving ur pencil u look suspicious

 **Michelle Jones** : Thanks, but also yeah you should probably tell him that you’re FtM

 

_**Peter Parker** to **Harley Keener**_

**Harley Keener** : yea so that’s why Abby wants to make a potato gun

 **Peter Parker** : Just to fight you??

 **Harley Keener** : We’re Keener's, so of course.

 **Peter Parker** : Uh,,,, Harls?

 **Harley Kenner** : Yeah Pete?

 **Peter Parker** : What if I told you I was trans??

 **Harley Keener** : I wouldn’t care.

 **Harley Keener** : I have an accent, doesn’t make me worth less

 **Peter Parker** : Thanks

 **Harley Keener** : but like,,,, one questions

 **Peter** **Parker** : Yeah??

 **Harley Keener** : Female to Male or Male to Female??

 **Peter Parker** : Oh!! Female to Male!!

 **Harley Keener** : Oh cool

 **Harley Keener** : can I tell you something too?

 **Peter Parker** : Sure

 **Harley Keener** : I’m gay

 **Peter Parker** : Oh!!! Cool!!!

 **Harley Keener** : gfhjsnklg you’re just?? like??? that???? you’re fine with it?????

 **Peter Parker** : Yeah, what did you think I’d do?

 **Harley Keener** : I don’t know.,.,.,., just no one’s ever been that accepting where I live.

 **Peter Parker** : Oh fuck I’m sorry

 **Harley Keener** : It’s not ur fault it’s ok

 **Peter Parker** : We just got to Harry’s I gotta go

 **Peter Parker** : I’ll message you at lunch so we can call!!!!

 **Harley Keener** : Ok

 **Peter Parker** : You’re great you know that right??

 **Harley Keener** : How can I not?

 **Harley Keener** : Now get to your field trip with goblin hoe.

 **Peter Parker** : gfjksdfdb ok!!

_**Peter Parker** is Offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah I'm cruel lmao


	6. Harley Smrt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley and Peter call.

_**Peter Parker** to **Harley Keener**_

**Peter Parker** : I can call now uwu

 **Harley Keener** : Oh nice

Harley was a hot ass mess when he got that message. He should have been more excited, or less panicked, but he couldn’t help his feelings. He sniffed, wiping his cheeks as hard as he could. Peter had been the one to call him; so Harley accepted it. “H-hello?” Came Peters voice, it was something just so distinctly… Peter. “The best man in the world, at your service,” Harley responded. He gained a chuckle in response.  
“How’s your day been?” Harley looked out his workshop, sighing.  
“Stressful, you?”  
“It’s been really good actually, I know that we always shit on Harry's company but the research they’ve been doing is really cool and interesting. There was one set back though, but that’s it,”  
“What happened?”  
“Harry decided to be the guide,” Harley let out a chuckle.  
“So, good day?”  
“Yeah! Uh...” Harley could hear some whispering on the other end. “I- uh… do you want to video call? I-I mean you don’t have to it’s just you haven’t seen my face yet so-”  
“Yeah, sure,” Harley was smiling. It took a second but Harley then saw Peters face, and Peter saw his. Harley was sure he saw someone sat beside the insanely cute, taken, boy. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were someone; what was surprising though was that the person seamed to be wearing red leather. Harley knew who that was, Deadpool. “Hey Darlin’,” he said, smiling a little wider at the face Peter had after the words. “Wade,” he said, nodding to the man sat beside Peter. Harley took a sip from his energy- his sister insisted it was a bad habit. He disagreed. The man gasped, leaning so he was in front of Peter. “How did you know?”  
“A little research never hurt anyone,” Harley shrugged, another sip at the sweet, sweet caffeine. He started to bounce his leg, placing the drink back onto his counter. He could see Peter shoving wade out of the way, yet Harley could see he’d rested his head on Peter’s shoulder, he was smiling. “Have you seen It chapter two yet?” the boy asked.  
“No, you?” Peter let out a small, little sequel that Harley didn’t mention but it was sure as hell going to be cherished. “No! We can do the thing again-”  
“-What thing?” Another voice came. It was a girls voice, she sounded apathetic and curios at the same time.  
“Oh, um, we watch movies and text each other while we do it,”  
“Nerds,” the same voice said. Peter smiled fondly, sticking his tongue out to the voice.  
“But, uh, yeah we should do that,” Peter said, looking back to his phone.  
“Sure, I’ll have to find time though,” Harley sighed, his eyes glancing out the room once again. That was before the Shed door slammed open. “Did he say yes?”  
“Yeah, Abby, he did-”  
“Oh, who ya’ calling,”  
“Just a friend-”  
“Like you have those,” Abby looked at Harley screen and sighed in something that resembled amazement. “Huh, guess you do,”  
“Abby,”  
“Oh, so that’s Abby,” Peter said, “Hi,”.  
“Hi, I’m guessing you’re Peter,”  
“Yeah,”  
“Cool, right, I need that,” she said, taking the can off the side, and walking out of the shed once again. Harley sighed.  
“I think I get what a Keener is now,”  
“Oh, trust me darlin’, you really don’t,”  
“Ok, so, hard-working, caring, sarcastic, smart- yeah, I think I do,”  
“Caring?”  
“Yeah, duh,”  
“How is that a ‘Duh’, Parker?”  
“Well, let's see. You take care of your sister-”  
“-Only because I have to-”  
“-She took care of you-”  
“-Yeah, and? that’s her,”  
“Just take the fucking compliment,”  
“Peter Parker!” Wade said, moving to be nose to nose with him. “Swearing? On a school trip? Scandalous- shut up white,” Harley ignored the man, standing up to get to his mini-fridge that Tony had given him. Harley almost hated him for it, but it housed some of his housed possessions. He grabbed another energy drink, sitting back at his stool. “Have y’all even read the It book?”  
“Well, no, but I’d rather that then read the scene that you’re always ranting on about,”  
“Me? Rant? I’ve never done that,”  
“Totally,” Peter rolled his eyes.  
“What are you doing next on your tour?” Harley asked, hearing the sizzle of opening the can in his hands. “We’re going to see some spiders,”  
“You’re scared of them, right?”  
“Yeah, that’s why,” he rolled his eyes. Harry, right.  
“We’ve got to go- call later?”  
“If I can, sure,” Harley shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. It was a huge deal, but he wouldn’t say that.  
“Great- Bye,” He was waving,  
“Bye, Parker,” and the call had ended. God, why was Harley such a mess? He took a sip of his energy drink.

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson (OnYourLeft)**   
**Wanda Maximoff (MaximumBeuty)**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**   
**Harley Keener (TheMechanic)**

**TheMechanic** : Hey is peter ok?

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : I think he’s just tired

 **Mean Bitch** : Yeah. I’m, like, 100% sure he passed out when he got back to his apartment.

 **TheMechanic** : Ohk

 **TheMechanic** : I just haven't heard from him so I was worried

_**Can’tBudgeIron** is Online_

**Can’tBudgeIron** : Harley Keener is capable of worrie, that’ll make the headlines

 **TheMechanic** : Who shat in ur cheerios

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : My fucking dad but ok

 **TheMechanic** : hah mood

 **TheMechanic** : except my dad left me lmao

 **TheMechanic** : So more like my mom-

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : we get it, Keener

 **TheMechanic** : B)

 **TheMechanic** : sorry I’m low-key sure most of the people in this chat are dumb so--

_**Non-BinarySnek** is Onlne_

**Non-BinarySnek** : Who is this little bitch

_**OneArmTwo-OhWait** is Online_

**OneArmTwo-OhWait** : Ok just because I only have one arm doesn’t mean I have half a brain

_**Thor Odinson** is Online_

**Thor Odinson** : LOKI WHY DO YOU HAVE A KNIFE

 **Non-BinarySnek** : I’ve bouta’ knife a bitch

 **TheMechanic** : I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me.

 **TheMechanic** : Also, Thor, like the Norse god??

 **Thor Odinson** : NO

 **Thor Odinson** : WHY WOULD YOU THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT

 **TheMechanic** : Yeah, so that's totally not Loki like the god either, thunder thighs.

_**AreYouShuri** is online_

**AreYouShuri** : THUNDER THIGHS GHUHFKDGSBJNF

 **AreYouShuri** : Still don’t like you but that was a good one

 **TheMechanic** : thank you, I’m here all night

 **TheMechanic** : and by here I mean WORK

 **TheMechanic** : fguhsdiajkfn my boss caught me lmao by-

_**TheMechanic** is Offline_

**Non-BinarySnek** : he insults our intelligence and then leaves?

 **Mean Bitch** : Wonder where he works.

 **Non-BinarySnek** : At a Mcdonalds apparently

 **AreYouShuri** changed **Thor Odinson** (s) name to **THUNDERTHIGHS**

 **THUNDERTHIGHS** : LOKI! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT ANY MORE

 **Non-BinarySnek** : like you’re going to stop me.


	7. Mr Stank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up after his trip to oscorp, and he and Wade love each other B).

_**Peter Parker** made the **FUCKING HELPKFDMKL** chat_

_**Peter Parker** added **Tony Stark** , **Bucky Barnes** , **Vision** , **Bruce Banner** and six others._

**Peter Parker** : HFUDHGFIJKN GUYS

_**Bucky Barnes** is online_

**Bucky Barnes** : Yeah, Pete?

_**Tony Stark** is Online_

**Tony Stark** : ?

_**Vision** is Online_

**Vision** : What do you need, Peter?

 **Bruce Banner** : Peter?

 **Peter Parker** : ODN’T JUGE BUT

 **Peter Parker** : BUT

 **Peter Parker** : I GOT BIT BY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER AT HARRYS COMPANY AND NOW I CAN’T UN-STICK MY HAND FROM MY WALL

 **Bucky Barnes** : What?

 **Tony Stark** : . . .

 **Bruce Banner** : It is way to early for this

 **Peter Parker** : PLEAES MY HNDAS SPUCK TOFD MY OHNE

 **Vision** : You got bitten by a radio-active spider?

 **Vision** : How are you not dead?

 **Peter Parker** : IKD

 **Bruce Banner** : How do you know it was radio-active?

 **Peter Parker** : THERE WAS AONE HTREAT WAS ECASPED

 **Tony Stark** : Oh fuck.

 **Peter Parker** : OGHUFDJ AND I CAN SEE WITHOUT MY GLALSESD

 **Peter Parker** : I ALOSN HACE MOAR MUSLCE

_**Loki Odinson** is Online_

**Loki Odinson** : I’ll be there soon spider boy

 **Peter Parker** : tHnsandlk tuup

 **Bruce Banner** : why didn’t you go to the hospital?

 **Peter Parker** : whstrat do uoy tnak I have hea;sth crea

 **Vision** : Tony would’ve paid for the bills

 **Peter Parker** : ohf fucoikc

 **Peter Parker** : Holndfsy fuck I f think I hear mAysas heart beat sbdjkl

 **Peter Parker** : ewhysd s so brighrtras

 **Bruce Banner** : I take it you have heightened senses

 **Peter Parker** : IGDUEsssDAS

 **Peter Parker** : Ofh Dfsduxkck harles ahs bene textning be

Peter Parker: LookiIidiA I heASR TYOU TheORES KIDSAD IN THAT OneE Don’t sewar

_**Loki Odinson** is Online_

**Peter Parker** : YOUN Should Care

 **Peter Paker** :f dms,nn awwwWAWAw

 **Loki Odinson** : shuT-

_**Natasha Romanov** is Online_

**Natasha Romanov:** Peter.

 **Natasha Romanov** : You’re coming close to being the smartest dumb-ass I’ve met.

 **Loki Odinson** : Ok, it’s literally stuck to the wall. What do we do?

 **Vision** : Cut it?

 **Tony Stark** : DON’T

 **Loki Odinson** : I already tried that

 **Loki Odinson** : He’s god hardened skin too.

 **Peter Parker** : N)

 **Peter Parker** : B)

 **Loki Odinson** : oH HE JUST

 **Loki Odinson** : THERE’S A HOLE IN THE WALL

 **Peter Parker** : I dropped my phone B)

 **Tony Stark** : I’m coming

Peter Parker: But Bister Starch I’m fineeee

 **Bucky Barnes** : Why do you keep calling him Mr Stark?

 **Peter Parker** : bc

 **Peter Parker** : it annoys him

 **Bucky Barnes** : oh lmao

 **Vision** : So, just to check, Peter now has hightened senses, super strength and can stick to walls?

 **Loki Odinson** : Oh theres another thing

 **Peter Paker** : I HAVE A SPIDEY SENSE DNAJLKNM

 **Vision** : … what?

 **Peter Parker** : Spiders can like,,, sense when stuffs gonna happen and I got that

 **Bruce Banner** : Dont’ forget the hardened skin

 **Peter Parker** : I’MA SPIDER

 **Peter Parker** : the universe predicted this

 **Peter Parker** : I’m god

 **Bucky Barens** : lmao me when I lost my arm

 **Peter Parker** : in all fairness you have a really cool metal arm now

 **Bucky Barns** : and a bunch of mental and physical scared B)

_**Steve Rodgers** is Online_

**Stever Rodgers** : Bucky no-

 **Peter Parker** : But like, we all have those, right?

 **Bucky Barnes** : sksksksk Ig?

 **Natasha Romanov** : I was born into what was technically an assassin factory, you and Steve got yourself into a stupid experimental drug servery, Tony has his dad AND Afghanistan, The Maximoff twins had fucking hydra, Loki has, well, Loki, and Thor also has Loki.

 **Peter Parker** : and I have had my parents killed in front of me, my best friends dad commit suicide in front of me, been raped, and ALSO was bitten by a radioactive spider B)

 **Bucky Barnes** : w h a t

 **Steve Rodgers** : Peter?

 **Peter Parker** : waIT NO THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE

 **Peter Parker** : IGNORE THE SECOND TO LAST THING

 **Bruce Banner** : Peter, what happened?

 **Peter Parker** : NOTHING! IT’S OKAY!! I PROMISE!!!

 **Natasha Romanov** : Peter, tell us.

_**Peter Parker** is Offline_

**Loki Odinson** : He’s on the ceiling brb

_**Loki Odinson** is Offline_

**Tony Stark** : Yeah, no he’s just being crushed into a hug brb

 **Vision** : Excuse my language, but how the fuck is that boy still so… kind

 **Natasha Romanov** : Could be conditioning

 **Bruce Banner** : Yeah

 **Natasha Romanov** : or it could be that he’s Peter.

_**Wanda Maximoff** is Online_

**Wanda Maximoff** : I’ve been reading from the sidelines, hold on.

 **Wanda Maximoff** : @ _everyone_ !!! GET ONLINE NOW!!!

_**Pietro Maximoff** is Online_

_**Thor Odinson** is Online_

**Wanda Maximoff** : Ok, so Peter didn’t want to tell people about what happened to him, (if you missed it scroll up) so, don’t mention it to anyone outside of this chat.

 **Natasha Romanov** : agreed.

 **Thor Odinson** : AGREED

 **Pietro Maximoff** : Holy fuck turn caps of

 **Pietro Maximoff** : But yeah agreed

 **Wanda Maximoff** : And if any of you do, not on accident, I will tear your balls and/or ovaries from your body. :).

_**Peter Parker** is Online_

**Peter Parker** : I-

 **Peter Parker** : Thank you, guys.

 **Wanda Maximoff** : Of course, Peter.

Bruce Banner: We’re here if you need to talk.

 **Peter Parker** : Loki and Mr Stank made that clear

_**Tony Stark** is online_

_**Tony Stark** changed their name to **Mr Stank**_

 

_**Wade Wilson** to **Peter Parker**_

**Peter Parker** : I slipped up and told them-

 **Wade Wilson** : Oh, are you okay?

 **Peter Parker** : Yeah, I don’t think they’re treating me any different.

 **Wade Wilson** : Good

 **Wade Wilson** : I love you, and Yellow wants to do so much to you-

 **Peter Parker** : I love you too hkajsdbn

 **Peter Parker** : What do you think of Harley?

 **Wade Wilson** : He’s not the worst person in the world but I… dont’ like that he flirts with you

 **Peter Parker** : Thank you for being honest

 **Wade Wilson** : OF COURSE

 **Wade Wilson** : WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, A PEASANT??

 **Peter Parker** : I love you, sooo, soosoososososososo much

 **Wade Wilson** : I love you too bby boi!!!!

 **Peter Parker** : You still up for tonight?

 **Wade Wilson** : Of course!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Peter Parker** : hgnnhhnhn I lvoe you

 **Wade Wilson** : I lvoe you most

 **Peter Parker** I fslokdee yous bwesdntes

 **Wade Wilson** : oh fuck, how do I compete with that?

 **Peter Parker** : ywowo dwont’ wuuwuw

 **Wade Wilson** : Good point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can understand what Beter said lmao


	8. Beter Barker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley shoots his sister with a potato gun and Shuri FINALLY makes 'the queens' chat.

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson (OnYourLeft)**   
**Wanda Maximoff (MaximumBeuty)**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy (BlondeBitch)**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson (THUNDERTHIGHS)**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**   
**Harley Keener (TheMechanic)**

**TheMechanic** : Hey, can drinking three large energy drinks kill you?

 **Bruce Banner** : idk

_**Stephen Strange** is Online_

**Stephen Strange** : Depends

Stephen **Strange** : Keep taking your pulse and if it gets to fast call an ambulance

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : How the fuck do you know that?

 **Stephen Strange** : How the fuck DON’T you know that?

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : ig I just don’t care if I die

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : lmao mood

 **MrSpider** : Ok @ **THUNDERTHIGHS** tell ur brother to stop I can’t breath

_**THUNDERTHIGHS** is Online_

**THUNDERTHIGHS** : he doesn’t listen to me

 **MrSpider** : ohjs

 **MrSpider** : @ _Non-BinarySnek_ GRBLEASE

_**Non-BinarySnek** is Online_

**Non-BinarySnek** : Don’t say that next time then

 **TheMechanic** : GRASDIFHN Hhih

 **TheMechanic** : Harley got distraced he forgot I know his password lmao

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : Hey!! it’s a child!!!

 **MrSpider** : tell white no

 **MrSpider** : Hey Abby!!

 **TheMechanic** : oh hi Beter

_**WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** is Online_

**WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : ihdkjbn Beter Barker

 **MrSpider** : That’ll be the name of the dog I’m getting

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : May’s getting u a dog??

 **MrSpider** : No sir Starch is

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : I never agreed to that

 **MrSpider** : :(

 **MrSpider** : :’(

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : OK FINE

 **MrSpider** : giukajdflhd WAIT

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : I’ll get u one when my dad dies

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : O h

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Well-

_**MrSpider** changed **Stephen Strange** (s) name to **DudeWhySoStrange**_

**DudeWhySoStrange** : . . . why?

_**MaximumBeuty** is Online_

**MaximumBeuty** : Let him have this :)

 **DudeWhySoStrange** : Okay..?

 **TheMechanic** : Jesus you guys are almost as chaotic as Harley is

 **TheMechanic** : gfdhsfj

 **Non-BinarySnek** : Abby got snipped

 **TheMechanic** : I shot her with my potato gun so not far of

_**James Rhodes** is Online_

**James Rhodes** : Why and How does this chat exist?

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : It’s been a week and only NOW you’re online??

 **James Rhodes** : I’m sorry that I don’t use my phone as much as you

 **MrSpider** : Mr Rhodes aslkdn HI!!

 **James Rhodes** : Oh hi kid

_**James Rhodes** changed their name to **Rhodney**_

**TheMechanic** : Peter why do you call everyone Mr??

 **MrSpider** : idk I was raised that way?

 **MrSpider** : Also It annoys Mr Strank

 **TheMechanic** : lmao that’s why I call him old man

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : I’M NOT EVEN 21 YET HOW AM I OLD??

 **MrSpider** : that’s old to me

 **TheMechanic** : That’s old to me

 **WadeAndPetersBACKOFF** : You guys are so in sync I-

 **MrSpider** : I

 **TheMechanic** : have

 **MrSpider** : no clue

 **TheMechanic** : What you're

 **MrSpider** : Talking about

 **TheMechanic** : Talking about

_**Mean Bitch** is Online_

**Mean Bitch** : I bet they're messaging each other

 **AreYouShuri** : they’re not

 **MrSpider** : We’re not

 

_**Shuri** made the chat **THE QUEENS**_

_**Shuri** added **Michelle Jones** and **Gwen Stacy**_

**Shuri** : I realised we didn’t have a chat skskskksksksks

 **Gwen Stacy** : anna oop-

 **Michelle Jones** : How long have you been online?

 **Gwen Stacy** : I left the app open yesterday so--

 **Shuri** : o h

 **Gwen Stacy** : If you think Peter’s a dumb ass you havn’t met me or Harry B)

 **Michelle Jones** : No, you haven't met Ned

 **Michelle Jones** : He means well but he’s pretty dumb ngl

 **Shuri** : He’s better tho

 **Shuri** : He’s soft

 **Gwen Stacy** : r00d

 **Michelle Jones** : Well at least ur hot

 **Gwen** Stacy:g adsfhiuoOAHEJ WHAT

**Chat**   
**Being Gay On Main**

**Members**

**Michelle Jones (Peter)**   
**Ned Leeds (Mj)**   
**Peter Parker (Ned)**

**Peter** : GFIODJIANASFOJjpeojfnm

 **Mj** : ??

 **Peter** : Thyewbdsa thryew thye made ad cahsd

 **Ned** : Who made a chat?

 **Mj** : Peter how did you understand that?

 **Ned** : I’m skilled in the art of gay panic

 **Mj** : O h

_**Peter** uploaded a picture_

**Peter** : Lokokkkk

 **Ned** : OH MY GOD MJ

 **Mj** : HOW DID YOU DO THAT

 **Peter** : I DONT’ N=KNWO HELP

 

**Chat**   
**The Queens**

**Members**

**Gwen Stacy**   
**Shuri**   
**Michelle Jones**

**Gwen Stacy** : I???

 **Shuri** : she killed herself smh

 **Shuri** : @ _Michelle Jones_ if she’s hot who am I?

 **Michelle Jones** : uhuhuhuhuhoaSLDN

 **Michelle Jones** : Cute gfhifaskjldhfj

 **Shuri** : I can live with that

_**Shuri** changed their name to **Cute**_

_**Shuri** changed **Gwen Stacy** (s) name to **Hot**_

_**Shuri** changed **Michelle Jones** (s) name to **Flustered**_

**Flustered** : giurl I-

 **Cute** : I’m not WRONG

 **Cute** : You’re lucky I hav’nt hacked ur camera to see how flustered u r

 **Hot** : You have my consent to do that 24/7

 **Hot** : and I’m not joking

 **Cute** : I-

 **Cute** : Now I’m interested

 **Hot** : ;)

 **Cute** : grahulhn WHAETHAONDLFK

 **Flustered** : What??

 **Cute** : Stacy got GAME

 **Cute** : like she-

 **Cute** : I-

 **Hot** : I’m a dumb ass but I know what to do when there are cute and flustered women involved

 **Flustered** : What did you do??

 **Hot** : Took my shirt of duh

 **Flustered** : eiRAHKJN WHAT

 **Hot** : WAIT THAT SOUNDS WRONG I WAS STILL WEARIGN A BRA SKSNDM

 **Cute** : to be fair u do have nice boobs

 **Hot** : Thank you, that’s the nicest thing anyones ever said to me

 **Flustered** : You probably shouldn’t show strangers your boobs though

 **Hot** : I met Shuri irl it’s fine

 **Hot** : I was sad that I missed you tho

 **Cute** : Wait

 **Cute** : We could video call

 **Flustered** : Yeah we could

 **Hot** : When?

 **Cute** : are any of you busy rn?

 **Hot** : no

 **Flustered** : No

 **Cute** : Sweet


	9. OH FuUcK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have their video call. MJ's gay.

Michelle almost dropped her phone when the call went through, she was fumbling to accept it. It only took a second to see them, Princess “Cute” Shuri and Gwen “Hot” Stacy. Michelle believed that she was living up the flustered name. She could see that Gwen wasn’t lying about the fact that she was just wearing a bra. Then; Gwen started laughing. “You should-” she started, taking a deep breath, “-You should see your face!” She hadn’t stopped laughing, and apparently Shuri found it funny as she joined it too. Michelle smiled, and let out a small noise that was… something like a chuckle. Why the fuck were their laughs so cute? Gwen began calming herself down, “Sorry, sorry,” she said, wiping at her eyes, “I just-”  
“You certainly lived up to your name,” Shuri said, there was a spark from behind the camera. “Stupid fucking Stark labs-”  
“What are you doing in a stark lab?” Gwen asked, Michelle cold tell from the angel that she was laying down, her phone above her head.   
“I had an idea, but this place is shit and it just won't come out right,”  
“What’s the idea?” Michelle asked, genuinely curious.   
“Ok, so, I wanna know if there’s other dimensions, so I’m making a machine that can travel them,”  
“What!? That’s like- that’s amazing”  
“Thanks,” Shuri said, a small smile on her face. Gwen snorted,  
“Nerds,”.  
“Once I make this one I’m planning on a TARDIS,” Shuri continued.  
“Wait-” Gwen said, shaking her head, “A TARDIS?”  
“Yep, that’s what I said,”  
“It’s not like you’re from Gallifrey, how are you going to just… make one?”  
“Magic,” Shuri winked, “If I’m the doctor, will you be my companions?”  
“Ok, but who’s who?”  
“Gwen’s Rose and I’m-” MJ began,  
“You’re Martha,” Gwen added.  
“What!? She’s just a love-sick puppy,”  
“One; exactly, Two; she was also incredibly smart, determined and saved the world,”  
“Well, that was kinda’ a jointed effort,” Michelle pointed out, then Gwen gasped.  
“She’s Amy!” Shuri almost dropped what she was holding.  
“Oh my god, she is!”  
“You know, for someone who just called us nerds-”  
“-Shut,” Gwen said a small smile on her face. Shuri bit her lip in concentration, staring at the object that the other two could see. “Hey, so, you two are smart, right?”  
“Yeah,”  
“Hah, I wish,”   
“Shut up, I know your IQs,” Shuri sighed, she held the device to the camera, “Is there something I’m missing here?” Michelle’s eyes scanned the piece of technology. It was beautiful, a technological marvel- “Is that wire supposed to connect there?”  
“What? Oh- fuck, no, thanks,” Shuri muttered, placing it back to the table.  
“Should you be wearing, like, goggles or something?”  
“This isn’t chemistry,” Shuri said, but then the tapped a little next to her eyes, there was a flash of blue. She was wearing invisible goggles, “But safety is important,”.  
“Holy fuck,”  
“What?”  
“I’m, like… I technology junkie, I guess?” Michelle said, feeling her face heat up, “I just… wow,”  
“Oh, cool,” Gwen said as if she were distracted. Then she asked; “What music do you guys like?”  
“Oh, fuck,” Michelle said, thinking it out. “Lot’s of Queen,”  
“Duh, who doesn’t like them?”  
“That’s literally out chat name,” Shuri said.  
“Good point, oh I like The Feeling,”  
“Oh, they’re good,” Gwen looked exited at that.  
“Yeah, I guess I like old rock?”  
“Ok, so, P!nk?”  
“Duh,”  
“Who?” there was silence as Michelle and Gwen stared at where Shuri was on their screens.  
“You don’t know P!nk?” Gwen started.  
“Well, I only know Queen because of Peter-”  
“What? Do you not have Music in Wakanda?”  
“Not the stuff you listen to, no,”  
“This? Treason,”  
“How? Dare you,”  
“Hotel? Trivago,” Michelle and Gwen said in unison.  
“Okay, why don’t you just like… suggest some people and I’ll listen to them later?”  
“Good idea,” Gwen said.  
“Yeah,”  
“OK, so, Panic at the disco,”  
“Uh, Fall out Boy.”  
“Good one,”  
“I only know a few of their songs,”  
“Oh! Eni- Emi- the white rapper dude,” Michelle snorted.  
“ 'White rapper dude' Wow,”  
“Shut up,”  
“Ok, Adle,”  
“What? Really?”  
“Yeah, I like her,”  
“Strange, never pegged you for an Adle person,”  
“I like Turning Tables,” Michelle mumbled. “Oh! Gaz Brookfield,”  
“Who?”  
“He’s like, a country person. I like his stuff,”  
“Oh, nice, I’ll listen to it,”  
“A gaydar!” Shuri exclaimed, a wide smile on her face.  
“What?”  
“I’m going to make a gaydar,”  
“How?”  
“I don’t know, I’ll figure it out,” MJ smiled, if she didn’t have a crush on Shuri before, she sure as hell did now. “I don’t think you’ll actually need one,” Gwen said.  
“Yeah but it’s fun, Stacy, fun,” Shuri said, as if trying to get her pint across was failing.  
“Oh, just to be like, sure, we’re all gay right?” Michelle asked, and oh my god if she didn’t make it obvious before-   
“As a Christmas tree,” Gwen said, nodding.  
“I’m bi, so if that counts,”  
“If being pan counts then, yeah, it counts,” Then Michelle heard a knock come from Gwen’s side of the call.  
“Shit, gotta go,” she said, “I told my brother I’d walk the dog with him today,”  
“You have a dog?”  
“Yeah, but I’ve gotta go- No don’t come in- by,” And, Gwen was gone.  
“Oh, we’ve so gotta badger her into sending pictures of that dog,”  
“Of course,” Michelle said.   
“Do you have any pets,”  
“Yeah, a cat,”  
“Oh, the one Peter named?”  
“Yeah, I’m planning on getting some pet rat’s soon,”  
“Pet… rats?”  
“Yeah, rat’s are so cute! So are bats, and sloths, and pigs, and stick insects-” she cute herself of, “Do you have any pets?”  
“Huh? Oh, no. My brother won’t let me get any ‘cause he’s a dick,”  
“He’s a furry, maybe he doesn’t want competition,” Shuri snorted.  
“I never thought of that,”  
“How long are you gonna be in New York for?”  
“Uh- until Monday,”  
“You wanna hang out? Before you leave?”  
“We’re dragging Stacy along too,”  
“Yeah, duh,”  
“Sure,” Shuri said, just as a spark flicked onto her goggles. Michelle flinched.  
“Anyway, I gotta go too,” Michelle said, looking over to the cat who was meowing loudly.  
“Oh, okay,” Shuri sounded… almost disappointed? No, she wouldn’t be,  
“Bye,”  
“Bye, flustered,” Michelle hung up before she said anything remotely embarrassing. Fuck, she had it bad.


	10. I WaS SiX oK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter, Ned and Mj have a chat.

**Chat**   
**Being Gay On Main**

**Members**

**Michelle Jones (Peter)**   
**Ned Leeds (Mj)**   
**Peter Parker (Ned)**

**Peter** : hgEY

 **Ned** : What happened?

 **Mj** : yeah u ghosted us

 **Peter** : WE VIDOE CALLED

 **Ned** : OH

 **Mj** : OH INDEED WTF

 **Peter** : dsiRBLDKNM

_**Peter** uploaded a photo_

**Peter** : that’s what happened before grhkbajdfn

 **Ned** : Lmao yeah she has nice boobs

 **Mj** : peter you have a boyfriend

 **Ned** : Yeah well it’s not like I’m lying!!!

 **Peter** : Wait how do you know that?

 **Ned** : Changing rooms

 **Peter** : Oh

 **Ned** : yeah

 **Ned** : It sucked B)

 **Mj** : Well at least you get to skip out on gym now

 **Ned** : haha

 **Ned** : yea

 **Peter** : wait why do I sense sarcasm?

 **Ned** : lmao no reason

 **Mj** : Eyes Emoji

 **Ned** : why did you type it out

 **Mj** : bc

 **Mj** : my shitty phone doesn’t have emojis

 **Ned** : same

 **Ned** : WAIT

 **Ned** : Mr stronk litterally just said he’d get me a new one

 **Ned** : if ur reading this fuck you

 **Peter** : But not literally bc no one would fuck you, not even Jon…

 **Ned** : WHO PUT HIS DICK IN A FAN

 **Mj** : what,,,, the fuck?

 **Peter** : ur not aloud to know

 **Ned** : yeah ur to pure

 **Mj** : I’m NOT

 **Peter** : ok it’s a video from PornHub

 **Mj** : OK NO DO NOT GO ANNY FURTHER

 **Ned** : skskskksks ur asexual ass-

 **Mj** : First; shut. Second; Shuri infected u we’re gonna have to kill u

 **Mj** : U know, contain the source

 **Ned** : I respect ur desition just make sure Wade does it

 **Ned** : I want my man to have fun with me before I die ;)

 **Mj** : Ew

 **Ned** : WAIT I MEANT IT A PSYCHOPATHIC WAY

 **Peter** : And that’s supposed to be better?

 **Ned** : Shut-

 **Mj** : Brendon Uries my husbandddd

 **Peter** : huh that’s gay

 **Mj** : MJ

 **Mj** : Scroll up and see who’s gayer

 **Ned** : He got u there

 **Mj** : I wasn’t just talking about her but ok

 **Ned** : riuahflks

 **Ned** : wait if Harley or Shuri is reading this fuck of theres a reason we’re whispering

_**???:** Fuck_

_**????:** fuck_

**Ned** : WAIT

 **Ned** : GUYS

 **Peter** : FGYEifuhkildj;oke

 **Peter** : DON’T SCROLL UP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES

_**???:** Oh I already did earlier_

**????:** UhUHuhUH SAME

_**????:** SORRY MJ I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY U WERE WISPERING_

**Peter** : Fuck

_**????:** But the feeling’s mutual ;)_

_**????** and **???** have been kicked from the chat by **Mj**_

**Peter** : triraAFHIDKL ID YOU SEUAS TTHAT

 **Ned** : yeah ur not having a stroke

 **Mj** : Harley’s only been in the chat a few hours and Shuri was is it yesterday

 **Ned** : thanks soft boi Ned

 **Mj** : No problem B)

 **Peter** : Ok but who would win in a battle; It or the Mindflayer?

 **Ned** : Mindflayer

 **Ned** : the mindflayer doesn’t have fears so It wouldn’t attack it

 **Mj** : yeah

 **Mj** : but can we don’t? I’m scared of clowns

 **Ned** : oh yeah sorry

 **Peter** : Shit, sure

 **Peter** : Sorry, I didn’t know.

 **Mj** : It’s ok!!! I didn’t tell you!!!

 **Peter** : It’s weird. We don’t really know that about eachother.

 **Ned** : Tru tru

 **Mj** : Why don’t we play two truths one lie!!!

 **Ned** : Yeah!!!

 **Peter** : …

 **Peter** : Fine

 **Ned** : Whos first?

 **Peter** : You

 **Mj** : You

 **Ned** : Uhhh ok gimme a sec

 **Ned** : I’m bad a keeping secrets, I got bitten by a radio active spider and I have blue eyes

 **Peter** : Peter

 **Peter** : You have brown eyes

 **Peter** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **Ned** : I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I’M SORRY.

 **Mj** : PETER

_**???:** Dude the fuck??_

**Mj** : Harley fuck off

 **Ned** : ohhhh you made himm swear

_**???:** No but like we should talk about this later_

**Ned** : ohk

_**???** left the Chat_

**Peter** : Jack ass

 **Peter** : but also YOU’RE NOT DEAD??? HOW????

 **Mj** : YEAH

 **Ned** : IDK I JUST HAVE SUPER POWERS NOW

 **Mj** : DUDE THAT’S SO COOL!!!

 **Ned** : THANK YOU

 **Peter** : WAIT PETER YOU DUMB ASS DON’T TELL ME YOURE THAT VIGALANTEE??

 **Ned** : Well-

 **Peter** : YOU’RE SO DUMB OH MY GOD

 **Ned** : OK LET ME EXPLAIN

 **Peter** : go off

 **Ned** : Ok ok ok, so, I can do all this cool stuff, right? I can save people, so, why wouldn’t I?

 **Peter** : Oh my fucking od that is the worst explination I’ve ever read.

 **Mj** : He’s not done shut up.

 **Ned** : ALSO when I can save people, and I don’t, those things happen because of me.

 **Peter** : No, they don’t. I think what your doing is great, okay? Dumb, very, very dumb. But great. The thing is, you don’t know what you’re doing, Peter. Not only that, you somehow found a way to blame yourself for all of this. You can’t blame yourself for the actions of others.

 **Ned** : I-

 **Ned** : Thats really kind of you, Mj.

 **Peter** : Shut up, I’m only being realistic.

 **Mj** : THATAS SOOOOO SOFT UWU

 **Peter** : Ned, what the fuck.

 **Peter** : Don’t furry me.

 **Ned** : whats ur fursona?

 **Mj** : fbieajksdlhnm ANYWAY

 **Mj** : MJS TURN

 **Peter** : alright uuhhhhh

 **Peter** : I have a crush on Shuri, I have a crush on Gwen and I eat meat.

 **Mj** : OOOOOOHOHOHOOHOHOOOOHHHHHHHH

 **Ned** : Mj we ALL KNOW YOU’RE VEGATERIAN

 **Peter** : YEP I KNWO THIS IS WHY THIS CHAT EXISTS

 **Mj** : I THOUHGT IT WAS BECAUSE PETER WAS BEING GAY

 **Ned** : the fist thing we talked about was Mj being gay, right?

 **Mj** : yeah good point I’m dumb

 **Ned** : NED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Peter** : Ned, don’t say that about yourself. It’s not true.

 **Mj** : You GUYS

 **Ned** : it’s ur go!!!

 **Mj** : Ok, so, I’m crying right now from all the love, I have THE BEST friends EVER, and I broke my arm when I was 6.

 **Peter** : Ned you aren’t crying

 **Peter** : Wait

 **Peter** : never mind.

 **Mj** : I ment to keep it in-

 **Ned** : I was there when you broke ur arm lmao

 **Ned** : He got it stuck in his bed

 **Peter** : Ok- what?

 **Ned** : yeah there was something under his bed and he thought the best way to get to it was to put his arm through the bed slats

 **Mj** : I was 6!!!

 **Peter** : you were also dumb

 **Ned** : Yeah I laughed myself into an asthma attack

 **Peter** : Then or now??

 **Ned** : then

 **Ned** : I’m pretty sure I don’t have asthma any more

 **Mj** : DUDE THAT’S SO COOL

 **Mj** : You just!!! Got rid of it!!!! Like Captain America!!!

 **Peter** : Peter, do you know who captain America is?

 **Ned** : gbaihdslkn; NO

 **Ned** : JUST BECAUSE I HAVE POWERS DOESN’T MEAN-

 **Mj** : He knows

 **Peter** : duh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThE ONLY MEAT MJ EATS IS PUSSY-
> 
> I'm so sorry the joke just came into my mind when I was going through this skskskskks


	11. It's a Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alot happens, but I can't tell you.  
> Spoilers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ik it's not a monday irl but shUSH-

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson (OnYourLeft)**   
**Wanda Maximoff (MaximumBeuty)**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange (DudeWhySoStrange)**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes**   
**Vision**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy (BlondeBitch)**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson (THUNDERTHIGHS)**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**   
**Harley Keener (TheMechanic)**

**Vision** : Merry Christmas everyone

 **TheMechanic** : is ur name really vision??

 **MaximumBeuty** : Yeah, his name is Vision. His Vis!!! I havn’t heard from you in a while!!

 **Vision** : I am visiting Scotland, sorry for not telling you.

 **TheMechanic** : This hoe straight up a robot I stg

 **Vision** : Well… I am.

 **TheMechanic** : Yeah ik I just looked u up

 **TheMechanic** : WAIT TONY YOU HAVE ANOTHER KID??

_**Can’tBudgeIron** is Online_

**Can’tBudgeIron** : W,,,what??

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : Another??

 **TheMechanic** : idk about y’all but I see tony as a dad so-

 **Can** ’ **tBudgeIron** : I-

 **MrSpider** : ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

_**BitchSpiderMom** is Online_

**BitchSpiderMom** : We are in class, but why is Tony crying?

 **TheMechanic** : BDSJAN WAIT-

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : SHUT UP NAT

 **BitchSpiderMom** : oh nm thye’re happy tears

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Tony get of your phone

_**BitchSpiderMom** is Offline_

_**Can’tBudgeIron** is Offline_

**TheMechanic** : I-

 **MrSpider** : Harley theres something wrong with u ngl

_~~**TheMechanic** : You’re just as bad~~ _

_**TheMechanic** Deleted a Message._

**MrSpider** : I stg

_**MrSpider** is Offline_

_**TheMechanic** is Offline_

**Vision** : Are they… always like this?

 **MaximumBeuty** : A-huh

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : My teacher almost caught me texting lmao

_**MrSpider** changed **Vision** (s) name to **IJustHadThisVision**_

**IJustHadThisVision** : Thank you for the new name.

 **MrSpider** : B3

_**DudeWhySoStrange** is Online_

**DudeWhySoStrange** : Why is Tony crying??

 **MrSpider** : Wait are you with him??

 **DudeWhySoStrange** : Yes

 **MrSpider** : I see mr stank as a dad too

 **MrSpider** : Show him that

 **DudeWhySoStrange** : he’s crying more

 **DudeWhySoStrange** : Do you really see him as a dad??

 **MrSpider** : Yea

 **MrSpider** : Better than nothing lmao

 **DudeWhySoStrange** : (Video of Tony saying ‘They’re happy tears Strange’)

 **MrSpider** : B)

 

**~Later at a non-specific time~**

 

 **MaximoffBeuty** : Ok but why is my sister dating a fuckign toaster?

 **IJustHadThisVision** : I’m not a toaster but, as you’d say, go off.

 **MaximoffBeuty** : Ur a machine

 **MaximoffBeuty** : Might as well be a fucking toaster

 **TheMechanic** : Ok fuck you for destracting me form mine and Peters movie time

 **TheMechanic** : but vision is NOTHING like a toaster

 **TheMechanic** : They’re..,.,., COMPLETLY different machines

 **TheMechanic** : He’s made out of different metals, he’s powerd by a stone, ect.

 **MrSpider** : and Thor like wtf shut UP Pietro

 **MaximoffBeuty** : It really be like that sometimes

 **MaximumBeuty** : Hows the movie?

 **TheMechanic** : Peter screamed and almost cryed when (blank)

 **TheMechanic** : I aint spoiling shit

 **MaximumBeuty** : What movie is it?

 **TheMechanic** : IT

 **MaximumBeuty** : Like that book?

 **MrSpider** : Yea

 **MrSpider** : you should watch the movie

 **MrSpider** : unless ur scared of clowns

 **MaximumBeuty** : I’ll look at it :)

 **AreYouShuri** : HEY MJ WE NEED TO ACTUALLY TALK I STG

 **MrSpider** : I-

 **Mean Bitch** : NO

 **BlondeBitch** : YES

 **MrSpider** : bribe her with dog pics

 **BlondeBitch** : Peter you mad lad

 **Mean Bitch** : PETER GO BACK TO WATCHING IT WITH HARLEY U FUCKING BTICH

 **MrSpider** : ok but DON’T RUN AWAY FROM YOUR L O V E S

 **Non-BinarySnek** : *sips tea*

_**THUNDERTHIGHS** is Online_

**THUNDERTHIGHS** : Loki father wishes to talk with you

 **Non-BinarySnek** : I’m busy

 **THUNDERTHIGHS** : Doing what?

 **TallHornLady** : The bigger question is WHO is he doing

 **Non-BinarySnek** : They today

 **TallHornLady** : *are they

 **Non-BinarySnek** : :)

 **MrSpider** : ??? They're helping May cook dinner

 **MrSpider** : Okay r00d Person Loki

 **TallHornLady** : bet that you almost but mr

 **MrSpider** : bet that you fucked up anyway and I corrected it in time

_**WouldFuckTomHolland** is Online_

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : UHHHH PETEY

 **MrSpider** : Yea?

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I was just staring into ur window as usual

 **MrSpider** : a-huh

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : and I see the guy again

 **Non-BinarySnek** : What guy??

 **MrSpider** : it’s nothing

 **MrSpider** : trust me

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : I saw him ten times it’s not nothung bby boy

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : and someone was with him

 **MrSpider** : what??

 

**-Chat-**

**FUCKING HELPKFDMKL**   
**-Members-**   
**Tony Stark (Mr Stank)**   
**Bucky Barnes**   
**Vision**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Natasha Romanoff**   
**Steve Rogers**   
**Loki Odinson**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Pietro Maximoff**   
**Wanda Maximoff**   
**Peter Parker**

 

 **Steve Rogers** : @Peter Parker is he referring to who I think he is?

 **Peter Parker** : …

_**Bucky Barnes** is Online_

_**Mr Stank** is Online_

**Bucky Barnes** : Whats going on?

 **Vision** : Look at the chat with all of us in it.

 **Bucky Barnes** : oh

 **Bucky Barnes** : is he Peter?

 **Peter Parker** : I don’t really know??

 **Wanda Maximoff** : What do you mean by that?

 **Peter Parker** : Well Wade keeps thinking he’s seeing,,, him but idk if it is him bc I don’t really know what the guy looks like

 **Peter Parker** : OR it could be another hallucination

 **Loki Odinson** : He hallucinates??

 **Peter Parker** : It’s been getting better, it’s mainly when he’s been under stress

 **Mr Stank** : Is he under stress?

 **Peter Parker** : welll,.,.,.,

 **Peter Parker** : He thinks our relationships about to end bc I keep talking to Harley

 **Peter Parker** : And we had an argument about it

 **Peter Parker** : I’m just tryna ignore it but Wade really thinks it’s real

 **Steve Rogers** : Okay pausing

 **Steve Rogers** : Peter who’s Spiderman??

 **Peter Parker** : *Spider-Man

 **Peter Parker** : and uhhhhhhhhhhh me

 **Natasha Romanoff** : he really is ur son stark

 **Natasha Romanoff** : he’s just as stupid

 **Peter Parker** : (Screanshot of his conversation with Mj the last chapter)

 **Natasha Romanoff** : I will adopt that girl I stg

 **Peter Parker** : but my point still like,,, stands, ya know??

 **Mr Stank** : ‘I’m bad at keeping secrets’ is really accurate

 **Peter Parker** : Yeahhah

 **Mr Stank** : hey hol up lemme change ur name

 **Peter Parker** : what why??

 **Mr Stank** : I have an idea indulge me

 **Peter Parker** : okay???

_**Mr Stank** changed **Peter Parker** (s) name to **Stank Jr**_

**Stank Jr** : I-

 **Stank Jr** : fehiduisajlkn I gotta go Harleys paused the movie on his end so fdsjkn

_**Stank Jr** is Offline_

**Steve Rogers** : I’ll find Wade when I’m.,.,.,. working and see if the guy is real

 **Bruce Banner** : good idea

 **Wanda Maximoff** : Wouldn’t he know it’s you??

 **Steve Rogers** : I don’t think that reall matters right now

 **Pietro Maximoff** : yea

_**Pietro Maximoff** changed their name ot **SpeedyBoi**_

**SpeedyBoi** : u right

 **Steve Rogers** : I’m left handed but okay

 **Bucky Barnes** : fdijn Bitch u can use both hands shut-

 **Steve Rogers** : Yeah I can ;)

 **Mr Stank** : not in front of the children you heathens

 **Bucky Barnes** : ur just jelous

 **Mr Stank** : uh nO

 **Mr Stank** : I’m sorry to say I wanna fuck other ppl so shut ur fuck

 **Thor Odinson** : who?

 **Mr Stank** : I don’t need to answer you

 **Loki Odinson** : The ringing of the bell commands you

 **Mr Stank** : What??

 **Loki Odinson** : Peter and Harley just finished watching IT chapter one so now they’re watching Over the Garden Wall before continuing with IT chapter two

 **Loki Odinson** : So; the ringing of the bell commands you, bitch

 **Mr Stank** : oK FINE

 **Mr Stank** : It’s Pepper and Stephen

 **Mr Stank** : Strange not Rogers bc ew

 **Bucky Barnes** : that’s my bitch your talking about there

 **Steve Rogers** : don’t you mean your man?

 **Bucky Barnes** : silence bottom

 **Steve Rogers** : okay daddy

 **Natasha Romanoff** : Captain America everyone!

 **Wanda Maximoff** : wait shit Pietro where you of to?

 **Pietro Maximoff** : uH NO WHERE

 **Vision** : He’s currently at the bar ‘The White Horses’, known for their main attraction ‘The Siren’, although not much is known about the girl.

 **Wanda Maximoff** : A BAR!!?!?

 **Mr Stank** : hol up why you going there

 **Pietro Maximoff** : theres no way outta this is there

 **Mr Stank** : no

 **Pietro Maximoff** : I MAY be fucking the siren

 **Pietro Maximoff** : And by may I mean I am, I’m also dating her and have been for six months now.

 **Wanda Maximoff** : that isn’t Pietro

 **Pietro Maximoff** : Duh I distracted him with a blow job.

 **Wanda Maximoff** : I didn’t want to know

 **Pietro Maximoff** : And I don’t care.

 **Mr Stank** : Hold up how old are you?

 **Pietro Maximoff** : Why?

 **Mr Stank** : bc I know for a fact that Pietro's six-teen and the only reason he’s in collage is because of good grades

 **Pietro Maximoff** : You’ve done your homework on him, your turn to do it on me.

_**Pietro Maximoff** is Offline_

**Loki Odinson** : OK but why has so much happened today??

 **Natasha Romanoff** : It’s a Monday

 **Mr Stank** : that makes sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Adding an oc? More likley than you think.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!


	12. Take the compliment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something bad happens with Peter, so he gets his Emotional Support Friends.
> 
> also the guardians  
> fuck yea

**-Chat-**

**FUCKING HELPKFDMKL**   
**-Members-**   
**Tony Stark (Mr Stank)**   
**Bucky Barnes**   
**Vision**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Natasha Romanoff**   
**Steve Rogers**   
**Loki Odinson**   
**Thor Odinson**   
**Pietro Maximoff (SpeedyBoi)**   
**Wanda Maximoff**   
**Peter Parker (Stank Jr)**

**Steve Rogers** : PETER B. PARKER WHAT THE FUCK

_**Mr Stank** is Online_

**Mr Stank** : ??

 **Stank Jr** : I’M FIVE MR STEVE

 **Stank Jr** : IT WAS JUST A CAR

 **Steve Rogers** : JUST A CAR?? YOU CAUGHT A FUCKING CAR WITH YOUR BARE HAND PETER

 **Stank Jr** : I KNOW AND I’M OKAY

 **Mr Stank** : PETER?!!?! AR EYOU OKAY??

 **Stank Jr** : YES JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

_**SpeedyBoi** is Online_

**SpeedyBoi** : Hey _@Wanda Maximoff_ tell Pietro he left his Phone at Joe’s.

_**Wanda Maximoff** is Online_

**Wanda Maximoff** : ??

 **SpeedyBoi** : ,.,.., You already forgot? God damn your just as bad as my mom when I asked her if I had siblings.

 **Stank Jr** : I-

 **Stank Jr** : Who??

 **Mr Stank** : Pietro’s gf

 **SpeedyBoi** : Yes.

 **SpeedyBoi** : You _don’t_ have memory loss.

 **Stank Jr** : Holy fuck he has a gf??

 **Stank Jr** : didn’t think he could pull that off

 **SpeedyBoi** : Well he CAN jack it off.

 **Stank Jr** : fhudjabsnjlknb well ok

 **Wanda Maximoff** : Please… stop

 **SpeedyBoi** : holy fuck ur hot

 **Wanda Maximoff** : …,., I??

 **SpeedyBoi** : I mean damn

 **Wanda Maximoff** : WHy

 **SpeedyBoi** : Because you are I mean??? Pietro didn’t mention this??

 **Wanda Maximoff** : I’m his sister

 **SpeedyBoi** : That means nothing to mefhriduljsn

 **SpeedyBoi** : oH MY FUCKING GOD I’M SO SORRY

 **Wanda Maximoff** : I??? M???? Jus????

 **SpeedyBoi** : _(Video of The Siren saying ‘Take the compliment Jesus fuck’)_

 **SpeedyBoi** : I just naroly avoided getting punchedbfrhdkjb

 **Stank Jr** : hahaha binch

 **SpeedyBoi** : I’m glad you see it the same way as I do.

 **SpeedyBoi** : ryiiudshkajnjbern

_**Stank Jr** is Offline_

_**Steve Rogers** is Offline_

**SpeedyBoi** : fniejlsdn nfdjn

_**SpeedyBoi** is Offline_

**Wanda Maximoff** : Im??? what???

 **Mr Stank** : take the complimant ig

 **Wanda Maximoff** : I??????????

_**Bucky Barnes** is Online_

**Bucky Barnes** : OK but what happened with Peter?

 **Mr Stank** : idk

_**Stank Jr** is Online_

**Stank Jr** : he was right

 **Stank Jr** : holy fucking shit he was right I just saw him and Steve saw him oh my god Wade was right

_**Natasha Romanoff** is Online_

**Natasha Romanoff** : Peter, where are you?

 **Stank Jr** : Uhhhh

 **Stank Jr** : I don’t know??

 **Stank Jr** : fuck fuck fukc fufkdslx

 **Natasha Romanoff** : Peter?

 **Stank Jr** : I’m outside my old home I can’t please

 **Mr Stank** : It’s ok Pete, Nat’s going to bring you back to Mays and then we’ll all come ‘round and watch It chapter two because I know you didn’t have enough time to with Harley

 **Stank Jr** : OK ok ok

 **Stank Jr** : but

 **Wanda Maximoff** : We’ll put Harley on Video call, it’s okay

 **Stank Jr** : thank you

 **Stank Jr** : Loki is here with Nat ig I’ll see u there

_**Stank Jr** is Offline_

 

 **Peter Parker** to **Harley Keener**

 **Peter Parker** : Are you home??

 **Harley Keener** : yeah why??

 **Peter Parker** : something bad happened and most of everyones here towach IT chapter two soooo

 **Harley Keener** : Yeah sure just give me a sec

 **Peter Parker** : Thanks

 

Peter was happy, although paniced, maybe a bit terrfied, but still happy all the same.

He was in a large pile of everone from their private groupchat, the only one not was Wade, who Loki messaged from Peters phone.

When Harley accepted the call, Peter smiled wider.

He had most of the people who he loved with him, the people we trusted the most in the world.

He fell asleep half way through the movie- insomnia’s a bitch.

 

**-Chat-**

**Bitch Gaurdians**

**-Members-**

**Peter Quill (StarBitch)**   
**Gamora Thanos (Gamora)**   
**Rocket (Bitch)**   
**Drax (BitchAssDestroyer)**   
**Groot (BitchTree)**   
**Nebula Thanos (MissBlueBitch)**   
**Thor Odinson (THUNDERBITCH)**

**BitchAssDestroyer** : Why is this my name?

 **BitchTree** : I am groot

 **BitchAssDestroyer** : But this is not my name.

 **Gamora** : Just go along with it. Also, get of your humanoid devises. We have a problem to deal with here.

_**THUNDERBITCH** is Online_

**THUNDERBITCH** : Guardians! Why is this chat suddenly active?

 **Gamora** : Due Quill and Rockets insistant child-like fighting, we crashed on earth.

 **THUNDERBITCH** : Oh??? where are you??

 **Gamora** : We’re in the back garden of someone called Howard Stark

 **THUNDERBITCH** : Stark! My friend Tony is his son, I will send him on over to you.

 **MissBlueBitch** : I don’t trust him. He reminds me of Thanos.

 **Gamora** : Yes, he reminds me of him too.

 **THUNDERBITCH** : Ah… I understand where you are coming from.

 **StarBitch** : You guys have suits!?!?

 **THUNDERBITCH** : I assume that’ll be Tony coming in.

_**Bitch** : (Photo of Tony)_

**Bitch** : this him?

 **THUNDERBITCH** : Yes!!!

_**StarBitch** added **Tony Stark**_

**Tony Stark** : Thor can you ask Peter if there’d be space for these guys?

 **THUNDERBITCH** : He says he’d love for them to come, although, he also says ‘Steal some pillows and blankets’.

 **Tony Stark** : What does May say?

 **THUNDERBITCH** : May says she’d love to meat some ailiens, more than I and my family, at least.

 **Tony Stark** : SHIT SHE KNOWS??

 **THUNDERBITCH** : It’s May Parker, I couldn’t lie.

 **Tony Stark** : Okay yea good point

 

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

  
**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson (OnYourLeft)**   
**Wanda Maximoff (MaximumBeuty)**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange (DudeWhySoStrange)**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes (Rhodney)**   
**Vision (IJustHadThisVision)**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy (BlondeBitch)**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson (THUNDERTHIGHS)**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**   
**Harley Keener (TheMechanic)**

_**MrSpider** added **Peter Quill** , **Gamora Thanos** , **Nebula Thanos** , **Drax** , **Groot** , **Rocket**._

**MrSpider** : Say hi to the guardians!!!


	13. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guardians talk in the chat, and The Queens play truth or dare.
> 
> What will happen??

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**   
**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson (OnYourLeft)**   
**Wanda Maximoff (MaximumBeuty)**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange (DudeWhySoStrange)**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes (Rhodney)**   
**Vision (IJustHadThisVision)**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (Mean Bitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy (BlondeBitch)**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson (THUNDERTHIGHS)**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**   
**Harley Keener (TheMechanic)**   
**Peter Quill**   
**Gamora Thanos**   
**Nebula Thanos**   
**Groot**   
**Rocket**   
**Drax**

**TheMechanic** : The fuck??

 **Peter Quill** : Hello to you to

 **TheMechanic** : Nah bro I jus looked up ur name

 **TheMechanic** : your disappearance case was real popular btw

 **MrSpider** : Harley!!! Be nice!!!

 **TheMechanic** : Fine

 **TheMechanic** : don’t have to be happy w it

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : Pete what have you d o n e he wont stop messaging m e

 **AreYouShuri** : Get fucked ig

 **AreYouShuri** : Also… straight up me mj and gwen be playin truth or dare rn

 **AreYouShuri** : And MJ is being a lil’ bitch

_**AreYouShuri** changed **Mean Bitch** (s) name to **LilBitch**_

**LilBitch** : S H U R I

 **AreYouShuri** : GO THROUGH WITH THE FUCKING DARE

 **Non-BinarySnek** : tea is mother fucking scolding

 **Groot** : I am groot

 **Non-BinarySnek** : lmao yes

 **AreYouShuri** : damn we got us some aliens

_**ThisBitchFreezes** is Online_

**ThisBitchFreezes** : SHURI

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : WHAT THE F U C K

 **AreYouShuri** : oop gotta blast

_**AreYouShuri** is Offline_

**Drax** : I do not understand these names.

 **MrSpider** : Oh! They’re nicknames!

 **Drax** : Yes, but you are not a spider and I’m pretty sure _@ThisBitchFreezes_ does not actually freeze.

 **ThisBitchFreezes** : It’s an… inside joke.

_**MrSpider** added **Mantis**_

_**AreYouShuri** is Online_

**Mantis** : Hello humans! My name is Mantis. I’m very happy to have been given this device!

 **Mantis** : Thank you Tony!

 **MrSpider** : OKAY GUYS

 **MrSpider** : I MAYB BE BABY

 **MrSpider** : BUT MANTIS IS U L T I M A TE BABY

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Impossible!

 **MrSpider** : Tis true!

 **TheMechanic** : Nah Petey I don’t believe you

 **Mantis** : What is baby?

 **MrSpider** : Oh! It means someone who is really cute!

 **Mantis** : Ah! I’m afraid you are wrong, Drax already said I was ugly!

 **Gamora** : Mantis, you are not Ugly. Drax is an idiot.

 **BlondeBitch** : Huh. Thats gay.

 **MrSpider** : says the one

 **BlondeBitch** : Okay, true, but you didn’t have to say it.

 **Gamora** : What’s ‘Gay’?

 **BitchSpiderMom** : It means someone who likes the same sex

 **Gamora** : What’s the point of labelling that? Why not just exist?

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Because humans that consider themselves straight caused the label to exist with homophobia (I.e.  ppl being a dick to people who are gay for no reason)

 **Gamora** : That’s idiotic

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Yep

 **MrSpider** : It’s not all bad here!! I mean, there are the really nice and cool people!!! Like these guys!!!

 **BitchSpiderMom** : Thank you for the compliment peter

 **MrSpider** : Oh! May says if you need any dinner you can come by!!

 **MrSpider** : She’s been getting better at cooking thanks to Loki so it’s bearable now!!

 **MrSpider** : Thank you Loki btw

 **Non-BinarySnek** : No problem Peter

 **Peter Quill** : what the fuck are vines?

 **TheMechanic** : Q U I L L

 **TheMechanic** : YOU DON’T-

 **TheMechanic** : TONY I’MA NEED A PLANE TO NEW YORK SO I CAN TEACH THIS P E S A N T

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : Why not move here

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : I’ll buy you an apartment seriously please move here

 **TheMechanic** : frdskajlnedssKJWLANS

 **TheMechanic** : HARLEY AND I WOULD LOVE THAT TONY STANK THANK Y O U

 **Can’tBudgeIron** : Okay I’m sorting it out rn

 **TheMechanic** : UIKLJFBN

 **TheMechanic** : T O N Y

 **TheMechanic** : N O

 **Nebula** : What is going on with that child?

 **MrSpider** : Harley has a little sister called Abby

 **Nebula** : ah

 **Nebula** : ...

 **Nebula** : what does ‘Little’ mean in that context?

 **MrSpider** : Oh! Rihfjkdbn it means that your sibling is younger than you

 **Nebula** : Oh

 **Gamora** : So.. that means that Nebula is my little sister?

 **Peter Quill** : Nebula is younger than you???

 **Gamora** : I thought that was obvious?

 **Nebula** : Although if you consider some of my additions I’m older.

 **Gamora** : It’s one old part that you got put in. One. And it was literally made three seconds before I was born.

 **Nebula** : … I still count it.

 **Gamora** : I don’t.

 **Mantis** : Please do not fight!

 **Nebula** : Fine.

 **Mantis** : I meant physicaly too :(

 **MrSpider** : AA!!!! she FOUND THE F A C ES

 **Gamora** : she’s making the face in real life, as well.

 **Nebula** : It is rather compelling.

 **AreYouShuri** : M J

 **AreYouShuri** : THAT BETTER HAVE BEEN AN ACCIDENT OR I’LL BEAT UR ASS

 **BlondeBitch** : And I’ll watch wishing it was me!!

 **AreYouShuri** : damn

 **AreYouShuri** : kinky

 **BlondeBitch** : ;)

 **MrSpider** : W H A T

**Chat**   
**The Queens**

**Members**

**Gwen Stacy (Hot)**   
**Shuri (Cute)**   
**Michelle Jones (Flustered)**

**Flustered** : YOP CAN’T JUSTNJKE

 **Cute** : M J

 **Flustered** : ufdlkn SHEe d,SJ

 **Hot** : M I C H E L L E

 **Flustered** : fdijks,b NKLJS GIVE ME A SECONS D D SKJA,B

 **Cute** : damn okay

 **Flustered** : WHYS SMDID YOU PPUIT THAT IN THE CAHTTT

 **Hot** : I have a kink

 **Hot** : And?

Michelle chuckled before going back into the call.  
“There she is!” Shuri yelled.  
“Oh my god,” Mj responded, throwing her head back to her head bored, “You can't fucking do that, Gwen,”  
“Well, I did,”  
“But-”  
“I’ll do it again,” she winked into the camera and Mj’s face flushed more than humanly possible.  
“Guys! Guys!” Shuri said, “It’s Gwens turn!”  
“Right,” Gwen said, sighing, “Uh… Mj, truth or dare,”  
“Truth,”  
“How long have you known Peter?”  
“Uh… I’ve known him since he started at mid-town, but wasn’t friends with him until… a little before he started the chat,”  
“Damn,”  
“Yup,”  
“Your turn,” Shuri reminded. She wasn’t sat at a table like last time, this time she was sat in bed, with her phone lent up against her laptop.  
“Uh…” Michelle was blushing like mad and she knew it wasn’t the best idea to do this but- “Both of you, truth or dare?”  
“Can you do that?” Gwen asked,  
“Why the fuck not?” Shuri replied, “Dare,”  
“Yeah, dare,”  
“Uh...” this was a really stupid idea, “I dare you two to go an a date… with me,” Both of their breath hitched.  
“Damn, I thought I’d be Shuri to do anything first,”  
“M-me, me too,” Shuri said.  
“Shuri’s the top of us three,”  
“Mhm,” Michelle replied. She was almost waiting for an answer.  
“Okay, when are we going?” Gwen asked.  
“Also where,” Shuri continued for her.  
“Uh… I don’t… know?”  
“Okay, you know what?” Shuri was now fully facing the camera, “I’ll pick both of you up at around 8 to 8:30 and we can watch a movie at Mj’s,”  
“Great!” Gwen smiled.  
“Yeah,” Michelle said, she was smiling, “Great,”  
“Okay so, do you two know how to code?”

**Chat**   
**Being Gay On Main**

**Members**

**Michelle Jones (Peter)**   
**Ned Leeds (Mj)**   
**Peter Parker (Ned)**

**Peter** : GUSYYSY

 **Ned** : wWHAT HAPPENED EARLIER

 **Mj** : What happened??

 **Peter** : OKAY S O

 **Peter** : AS YOU KNOW WE WERE PLAYING TRUTH OR DARE

 **Peter** : AND WHAT PETER IS REFERING TO IS WHEN GWEN FLASHED ME AND SHURI HER BOOBS

 **Ned** : WWHAT RUIEWFJKSDL

 **Mj** : W H A T

 **Peter** : SH URI DARED HER

 **Peter** : BUT

 **Ned** : ok go off

 **Peter** : I DARED BOTH OF THEM, RIGHT??

 **Mj** : Yea

 **Ned** : okay

 **Peter** : AND I ASKED THEM TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME

 **Mj** : W HA T

 **Ned** : OMG MJ THAT’S SO GOOD!!

 **Mj** : WHAT DID THEY SAY!??!?!

 **Peter** : THEY SAID Y E S

 **Peter** : AND THEN SO THEY’RE GONNA COME ROUND AT 8 OR 8:30 AND WE’RE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE WICH WAS SHURIS IDEA BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

 **Ned** : YE S OH MY GOD!!!! MJ!!! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

 **Mj** : THAT’S SO COOOOOOOOOOLLLL!!!

 **Peter** : I NEED TO CALL U GUYS SO U CAN HELP PICK WHAT I’M GOING TO WEAR

 **Mj** : OKAY

 **Ned** : YEA LET’S DO THIS!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *eyes emoji*   
> *wink emoji*


	14. Gays, Gays, we are the gays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Big Date 
> 
> ;)

MJ was panicking. A lot.  
  
She was certain that Peter and Ned had noticed while they were on call, like, 100% sure. There was no way they didn’t notice. Then again Peter had said she was like Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. From what she was forced to watch of it, she knew the character pretty well. Peter was almost a Jake Peralta, however, so…  
She should really stop thinking into this. But Ned was definitely that one guy- Boyle. Nope. Stop thinking MJ,  
  
Then, there was a knock at the door.  
  
She bolted up from where she was sat on the sofa, walking over to the door and twisting it open.  
  
Stacy was prettier than the calls allowed to show- and Shuri somehow looked better than the last time she’d seen her. Fuck. Oh shit oh fuck-  
  
“You gonna let us in?” Shuri asked, smile plastered on her face and Gwen snorted.  
  
“Yeah, right, sorry,” she said, and Gwen almost cooed. MJ could see it on her face.  
  
They walked through the apartment and into the living room, flopping (back) onto the sofa. “So, what’re we gonna watch, American girl?” Shuri said, and Mj smiled slightly. You could barely notice it was there, but…  
  
“Okay, so I was thinking, we watch a show instead?”  
  
“Oh! Cool!” Gwen said, turning to face Mj, “What do we have to pick from?”  
  
“Whatever’s on Netflix or Amazon Prime,”  
  
“Stranger Things,” Gwen said instantly, Shuri giving them a confused look.  
  
“What's that?” Shuri asked, Gwen dramatically gasping and Mj could do nothing but look at her.  
  
“It’s a show set in the 80’s, it’s actually pretty cool,” she explained, Gwen nodding along.  
  
“Well, f you two like it, it must be good,” Shuri replied and Mj smiled wider.  
  
So MJ went onto Netflix and played it, Shuri had gotten engrossed in it after the very first scene, Gwen and MJ looking between themselves, and then at the girl shorter than her. They shared a smile, Mj finding herself being snuggled in-between Gwen and Shuri before the end of the first episode (Which was odd considering that Mj was taller than the other two).

 

  
**Chat**   
**Being Gay On Main**

**Members**

**Michelle Jones (Peter)**   
**Ned Leeds (Mj)**   
**Peter Parker (Ned)**

**Peter** : Shuri’s watching Stranger things for the first time

 **Peter** : also I’m taller than BOTH of them

 **Peter** : I’m??

 **Mj** : NRIEPJDSKN YE S

 **Ned** : Height difference height difference

 **Peter** : Is that some sort of kink?? Eye??

 **Ned** : NFDJKL NO!!

 **Mj** : It’s a story trope djikn

 **Peter** : O h

 **Mj** : You should know that you’re the one that reads the most!!

 **Peter** : Okay I gotta get back to the thing fdjskn

 **Mj** : To the date

 **Peter** : Yeah yeah

_**Peter** is Offline  
  
_

**~later~**   
  


_**Peter** is Online_

**Peter** : Hnnnn

 **Ned** : ??

 **Mj** : Yea??

 **Peter** : Shuri smell nice

 **Ned** : Yea I bet

 **Peter** : GWEN ALSO SMELL NICE

 **Peter** : AAAAAAA SHE NOTICED THE CHAT THREWKDSJNK NOOOOOOOOOO

 **Ned** : G W E N

 **Mj** : There’s a reason this chat is called Being Gay On Main

 **Ned** : fdisjkn Is she still looking??

 **Peter** : No but now she got like stars in her eyes so nfrw  
  


**~Later~  
  
**

_**Gwen Stacy** to **Harry Osborn**_

**Gwen Stacy** : H a r r y

 **Harry Osborn** : Yes?

 **Gwen Stacy** : Mj said I smell nice

 **Harry Osborn** : ?? And??

 **Gwen Stacy** : You dont’ get I t

 **Gwen Stacy** : She said it to a chat with Peter and Ned and Eye-

 **Harry Osborn** : O h

 **Harry Osborn** : Do you know the chat name??

 **Gwen Stacy** : BEING GAY ON MAIN

 **Harry Osborn** : O H

 **Harry Osborn** : GWEN YOU GOT A KEEPER THERE

 **Gwen Stacy** : I knowwww

 **Gwen Stacy** : She’s so curte and os is Shurindsaijkl

 **Harry Osborn** : Ah you got snipped

 **Harry Osborn** : Happens to the best of us :’)  
  


Shuri was really enjoying this show (who knew Americans could write story’s so well?) but she kept getting distracted by the other two girls. When MJ took the phone out of Stacy’s hand with her face flushed, she chuckled. “What’d you say?” Gwen huffed at the question, blush on her face too.  
  
“I just said that Mj said that I smelt nice,”  
  
“GWEN!”  
  
“Well, you did! You said Shuri smelt nice too!”  
  
“Aw, thank you,” Shuri said, “I showered and everything,”  
  
MJ replied in her face getting even more heated. “Look, she is flustered!” Gwen said, waving her arm to prove her point and Shuri smirked.  
  
“I wonder how flustered she could get,” she said, and the way she said it sent a shiver down Mj’s spine that Shuri could practically see. Gwen sent her a wink and then the two laughed. Then, they got back to the show, Shuri was happy she was paying it half her attention.  
  


 **T’Challa** to **Shuri**

 **T’Challa** : How’s it going so far?

 **Shuri** : Good

 **Shuri** : Why?

 **T’Challa** : I couldn’t miss my sisters first date!

 **Shuri** : I can hear you laughing through the screen, brother.

 **Shuri** : How’s your crush on Sam going??

_**T’Challa** is Offline_

**Shuri** : hehehhe get fucked

 

**Chat**   
**Being Gay On Main**

**Members**

**Michelle Jones (Peter)**   
**Ned Leeds (Mj)**   
**Peter Parker (Ned)**

**Peter** : We’re gonna watch another episode and then they gonna leave

 **Ned** : But you don’t want them to??

 **Peter** : Nooo I don’t

 **Mj** : I bet they don’t want to leave either

 **Peter** : We’ve already watched three episodes but

 **Peter** : :// I want them to s t a y

 **Ned** : I get the feeling

 **Mj** : I do not

 **Mj** : But I understand it ig

 **Peter** : rfuoddsjnk SHURI NOTICED THE CHAT THIS TIME

 **Peter** : Oh yeah she already knew about it

 **Ned** : >:(

 **Ned** : Still angey about that

 **Peter** : You litterally can’t stay mad at her

 **Ned** : I know but let me dream

 

When Shuri and Gwen left Mj’s, they'd both kissed the girl on the cheek before walking down the road. Looking over her shoulder she could see MJ staring after them with the reddest face that Gwen had seen.

And just now she knew what that had felt like, as Shuri and just kissed her on the cheek before bidding her goodnight.

Gwen sighed as she flopped down onto the sofa next to her brother, who groaned as he lost get another game of Mario Cart to an NPC.

“How was your date?” he asked, going into another game after passing her a controller.

“Good,” was all she could say, and when her brother looked to her face he started to laugh.

“You’re as red as a fuckin’ apple!” and Gwen huffed, before looking back to the screen.

“They’re BOTH taller than me,” she complained, just as he started another round, this time with two players.

“Yeah, well, you’re short,”

“So are you!”

They continued to argue like the siblings they were until the boy was sent to bed. He had school tomorrow, and Gwen was taking a day off for a doctors appointment. She mouthed a small ‘Get fucked’ to him as she won the last round.


	15. L o v e    Y o u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade talk, Peter and Harley talk, and Gwen has some upcoming angst!!!!

**Peter Parker** to **Wade Wilson**

 

 **Peter Parker** : Okay, you know what?? We need to talk.

 **Wade Wilson** : You wanna break up with me??

 **Peter Parker** : … NO!!!! THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO TALK!!!!!

 **Peter Parker** : I LOVE YOU VERRY MUCH!!!! I DON’T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Wade Wilson** : But- You and Harley-

 **Peter Parker** : Yes yes I may think Harley is hot and cute and has an amazing accent

 **Peter Parker** : BUT YOU DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

 **Wade Wilson** : Petey boi

 **Wade Wilson** : Love Of My Life

 **Wade Wilson** : You basically just spelled out that you love Harley

 **Peter Parker** : BUT I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

 **Wade Wilson** : Yes I get this honey

 **Wade Wilson** : But you can love two people at once

 **Peter Parker** : …. Oh shit I can????

 **Wade Wilson** : And we thought I was the dumb-ass!!!

 **Peter Parker** : I never thought that

 **Peter Parker** : Aside from when you shot someone

 **Peter Parker** : and when you got shot

 **Wade Wilson** : So basicly all the time??

 **Peter Parker** : … f u c k

 **Peter Parker** : Okay, I’m not gonna lie, I might have a crush on Harley.

 **Peter Parker** : But I love you sooooooo much!!!! Like!!!! so much!!!!!!!!

 **Wade Wilson** : Hmm

 **Peter Parker** : You know what??

_**Peter Parker** is Offline_

**Wade Wilson** : Petey???

 **Wade Wilson** : rfdsiuojfkn OHHHH

 

**-Chat-**   
**What The Fuck**

**-Members-**   
**Wade Wilson (WouldFuckTomHolland)**   
**Tony Stark (Can’tBudgeIron)**   
**Natasha Romanov (BitchSpiderMom)**   
**Steve Rodgers (IthoughtuWereAmerican)**   
**Clint Barton (EyeOfAHawk)**   
**Peter Parker (MrSpider)**   
**Bucky (OneArmTwo-OhWait)**   
**Shuri (AreYouShuri)**   
**T’Challa (ThisBitchFreezes)**   
**Sam Wilson (OnYourLeft)**   
**Wanda Maximoff (MaximumBeuty)**   
**Pietro Maximoff (MaximoffBeuty)**   
**Stephen Strange (DudeWhySoStrange)**   
**Scott Lang (EatAnt)**   
**James Rhodes (Rhodney)**   
**Vision (IJustHadThisVision)**   
**Ned Leeds (WadeAndPetersBACKOFF)**   
**Michelle Jones (LilBitch)**   
**Gwen Stacy (BlondeBitch)**   
**Harry Osborn (GoblinSporn)**   
**Thor Odinson (THUNDERTHIGHS)**   
**Bruce Banner**   
**Loki Odinson (Non-BinarySnek)**   
**Hela Odinson (TallHornLady)**   
**Harley Keener (TheMechanic)**   
**Peter Quill**   
**Gamora Thanos**   
**Nebula Thanos**   
**Groot**   
**Rocket**   
**Drax**

**WouldFuckTomHolland** : I love mt boyfriend

_**MrSpider** is Online_

**MrSpider** : Your boyfriend loves you too <33

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Idk I think I love you more

 **BlondeBitch** : * Insert Amy and Rory scene where they realise they love each other after seemingly wanting a divorce *

 **MrSpider** : That is… shockingly accurate

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : WAIT WHAT???

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : THEY DON’T GET DIVORCED????

 **MrSpider** : We’re watching that epised rn csfdkjfn

 **BlondeBitch** : Oop-

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : OH THE SCENE JUST CAME ON

 **MrSpider** : He’s crying

 **BlondeBitch** : pics or it didn’t happen

 **MrSpider** : Guess it didn’t happen then hoe

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Yeah!!

 **TheMechanic** : wait why not??

 **MrSpider** : frdsufjn Hi Harley!!

 **MrSpider** : Wade isn’t wearing his mask right now, he doesn’t like people seeing his face!!!

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Okay but would it scare him

 **MrSpider** : Idk

 **MrSpider** : But also like---

 **WouldFuckTomHolland** : Oooohh yeah it didn’t happen fuckers

 **TheMechanic** : a h u h

 

 **Harley Keener** to **Peter Parker**

 **Harley Keener** : Okay I hope I’m not prying but why won’t you send the pic-

 **Peter Parker** : I’m wearing my spiderman suit sooo---

 **Harley Keener** : O h

 **Peter Parker** : Also I’m bleading from jumping through Wades window

 **Harley Keener** : ARE YOU O KA Y????

 **Peter Parker** : rediufkjn tyEAH!!! I have super healing!!! kinda!!!

 **Peter Parker** : not as good as wades tho

 **Harley Keener** : O K a Y

 **Harley Keener** : I was really worried for a sec then

 **Harley Keener** : but uh.,.,.., we never really talked about the spider man thing, did we?

 **Peter Parker** : hhh no we didn’t

 **Harley Keener** : Just… I’m okay with it, I mean, it’s pretty fucking cool.,., but I wanna make sure you’re okay.

 **Peter Parker** : Tony’s made me a suit with an ai and everything I’m perfectly safe-

 **Harley Keener** : but that’s not the same as me checking the suit, ya’ know??

 **Peter Parker** : Well if you came to new york you could

 **Harley Keener** : … Fine. I’ll go.

 **Peter Parker** : WHATHTE

 **Harley Keener** : Yeah, I’ll go.

 **Harley Keener** : Maybe I’ll commit some crimes who knows?? Then Spider-Man would have to come n get me

 **Peter Parker** : esfsduifkj Harley!!!!

 **Peter Parker** : I gotta go,,..,,. Wade n me are watching dr who and he just noticed that I was talking to you so---

 **Harley Keener** : okay Peter, see ya’

 **Peter Parker** : see ya!!

_**Peter Parker** is Offline_

 

 **Harley Keener** to **Tony Stark**

 **Harley Keener** : I want to go to new york

 **Tony Stark** : FINNALLY!!

 **Harley Keener** : Me AND Abby

 **Tony Stark** : Of course!!! So, you want an apartment or something??

 **Harley Keener** : Tony I can’t ask that of you

 **Tony Stark** : It’s literally nothing

 **Tony Stark** : I can even get you a job at Stark Industries

 **Tony Stark** : Fuck that I will

 **Harley Keener** : Old man seriously

 **Tony Stark** : I am being serious

 **Tony Stark** : You’re certainly smart enough to work there

 **Tony Stark** : If I work hard enough you could probably be my intern

 **Tony Stark** : So could Peter

 **Harley Keener** : But

 **Tony Stark** : Let me do this for you Keener

 **Harley Keener** : … Okay, fine.

 **Tony Stark** : Thankye

 

**-Chat-**   
**The Queens**

**-Members-**   
**Gwen Stacy (Hot)**   
**Shuri (Cute)**   
**Michelle Jones (Flustered)**

_**Cute** is Online_

**Cute** : Just landed back in Wakanda

 **Flustered** : Can’t wait to see you again

 **Hot** : Same, I really can’t!!

 **Flustered:** Good thing me n Gwen can meet up all the time huh

 **Hot** : Yeah!!

 **Cute** : Damn I might just move to new york

 **Flustered** : you should I already miss you

 **Hot** : ^^^

 **Cute** : fjnfrijslfn I’ll move when I turn 18 bet

 **Hot** : BET!!!

 **Flustered** : B E T

 **Cute** : For now we’ll just have to call

 **Flustered** : Should we call rn??

 **Cute** : Sure!!

 **Hot** : guidoklf I can’t, sorry!!

 **Hot** : But I can message so--

 **Cute** : GOOD ENOUGH!!!

 **Flustered:** YEAH!!!!!!!!


End file.
